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Advertisements for things like toys and food have effects on children and their families. Many people think this is negative. Do you agree or disagree?

Advertisements for things like toys and food have effects on children and their families. Many people think this is negative. LB0x6
It is true that, many kinds of ads about toys and fast foods makes an allure in children to the core. However, in my reckon, which makes a detrimental effect not only in children but also whole family. Because, excessive tendency to take junk foods and unnecessary play items may lead to health problems, addiction, and lack of inter personal relationship. To begin with, make use of advertisement may influence in preference of food among children. In brief, irrespective of health benefits they often tend to buy fast food and adorer of such unhealthy food items. Certain promotional ads has gimmick explanations and deception of adulterating substance quality by the over exposure of subliminal works. For instance, extra added colors and additives may have the tendency to mesmerize the product and may diminish the health value to some extent. Consequently, such items may affect on body, mind in terms of juvenile diabetes, obesity and so on. Secondly, certain toys ads have proclivity to buy and seem to use would adversely affect on children mind and thinking capacity. Promotion of toys with spider men or super men devoid of the self power of pupils and may lead to misunderstanding the inborn talent and like to imitate such character eventually. Similarly, some kind of ads make pernicious effect on whole family in terms of health and financial point of view. In brief, as by addiction of fast food in children many families opt to buy for the interest of children or some how to make calm to the child. Parents also urge to buy such things intentionally by the easiness of making food in fast growing life style and modernization. Such attitude deliberately affect in terms of health problems or in turn devoid of health agenda of overall family members. Likewise, emerging advertisements of many toys would have proclivity of children to capture without considering the value or prize. Such behaviour may displace the financial situation of family or unlikely, parents peace by the over conscious of their children interest used to be. Furthermore, certain type of toys would mitigate the inter personal relation ship in communication or emotions. For example, costly play items promoted by student anchor or film star make an ordinary child to be like little star or the parents of them. To conclude, advertisement are inevitable for promotion of any items. Although, by the virtue of such ads make detrimental effect on behavior, attitude on food items and financial and psychological standard of parents.
It is true that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of ads about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
an allure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the core.
However
, in my reckon, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a detrimental effect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, excessive tendency to take junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and unnecessary play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
may lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems, addiction, and lack of
This word is normally spelled as one.
inter personal
relationship.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of advertisement may influence in preference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In brief
, irrespective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
benefits they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and adorer of such unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. Certain promotional ads has gimmick explanations and deception of adulterating substance quality by the over exposure of subliminal works.
For instance
, extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
colors and additives may have the tendency to mesmerize the product and may diminish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
value to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Consequently
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
may
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on body, mind in terms of juvenile diabetes, obesity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
ads have proclivity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
and seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
would
adversely
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mind and thinking capacity. Promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
with spider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
or super
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
devoid of the self power of pupils and may lead to misunderstanding the inborn talent and like to imitate such character
eventually
.

Similarly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of ads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
pernicious effect on whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and financial point of view.
In brief
, as by addiction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
opt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
for the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or
Did you mean "somehow"?
some how
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
calm to the child.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
also
urge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
such things
intentionally
by the easiness of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
growing life style and modernization. Such attitude
deliberately
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems or in turn devoid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
agenda of
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Likewise
, emerging advertisements of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
would have proclivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to capture without considering the value or prize. Such
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
may displace the financial situation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or unlikely,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
peace by the over conscious of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
interest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be.
Furthermore
, certain type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
would mitigate the
This word is normally spelled as one.
inter personal
relation ship in communication or emotions.
For example
, costly play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
promoted by student anchor or film star
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an ordinary child to be like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
star or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of them.

To conclude
, advertisement are inevitable for promotion of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. Although, by the virtue of such ads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
detrimental effect on behavior, attitude on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and financial and psychological standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.

IELTS essay Advertisements for things like toys and food have effects on children and their families. Many people think this is negative.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
416 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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