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Should state spends more money on defense or welfare?

Should state spends more money on defense or welfare? 3AnVX
“Privacy or Security” is one of the important political topics, debated in this modernized world. Nowadays, there is a crucial debate questioning “Should the government support more nation’s defense or social welfare? ” To answer this question, living in the contemporary society changes my perspective to the government in many ways. In this essay, I argue that the state should decrease their spending on defense and pay attention to social benefits for every citizen without any forms of discrimination. First of all, spending much money on defense such as weapons is outdated. Today, war and violence between nations are not a solution to maintain world peace. Many wealthy and stable countries choose to decline their budget for defense due to their strong international relations and prosperity. Thai Government is an essential example for those who pay attention on only security by investing only with military weapons, which is not suitable for Thai society during the COVID-19 Pandemic. Addition to this Junta Government, spending much budget on security can easily lead to the corruption. Another reason is, if the government invest large amount of money for a high-quality welfare, it will lead to a better society. Obviously, there is various hints from many developing countries such as Germany, New Zealand, Canada, Sweden and etc. , where their citizens feel safe and satisfying with the serve of the state welfare. Transportation, health care and insurance are vital instances for this task. Furthermore, people living in a nation with a wide state care will feel happier, because they do not have to feel worried with the government. In the conclusion, world citizens supposed to feel fine with their own government. I strongly believe that the more state utilizes their money for social welfare in this cosmopolitan world, the stronger will the state be.
“Privacy or Security” is one of the
important
political topics, debated in this modernized
world
. Nowadays, there is a crucial debate questioning “Should the
government
support more nation’s defense or social
welfare
? ” To answer this question, living in the contemporary society
changes
my perspective to the
government
in
many
ways. In this essay, I argue that the
state
should decrease their spending on defense and pay attention to social benefits for every citizen without any forms of discrimination.

First of all
, spending much money on defense such as weapons
is outdated
.
Today
, war and violence between nations are not a solution to maintain
world
peace.
Many
wealthy and stable countries choose to decline their budget for defense due to their strong international relations and prosperity. Thai
Government
is an essential example for those who pay attention on
only
security by investing
only
with military weapons, which is not suitable for Thai society during the COVID-19 Pandemic. Addition to this Junta
Government
, spending much budget on security can
easily
lead to the corruption.

Another reason is, if the
government
invest large amount of money for a high-quality
welfare
, it will lead to a better society.
Obviously
,
there is various hints
from
many
developing countries
such as Germany, New Zealand, Canada, Sweden
and etc
.
,
where their citizens
feel
safe and satisfying with the serve of the
state
welfare
. Transportation, health care and insurance are vital instances for this task.
Furthermore
,
people
living in a nation with a wide
state
care will
feel
happier,
because
they do not
have to
feel
worried with the
government
.

In the conclusion,
world
citizens supposed to
feel
fine with their
own
government
. I
strongly
believe that the more
state
utilizes their money for social
welfare
in this cosmopolitan
world
, the stronger will the
state
be.
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IELTS essay Should state spends more money on defense or welfare?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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