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Government should support old building restoration or invest in the construction of new houses and roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Government should support old building restoration or invest in the construction of new houses and roads. ElnE3
It is widely believed that the national leaders ought to spend government money on restroring ancient buildings. In my pointview, I totally agree that the government must have suitable policies in renovation historicalm buildings. The policy markers should also allocate the national budget to reconstruct degraded ones by building new residential house to replacing the slums and upgrading the road infrastructure. Due to the rising demand of housing for the large number of the citizens in big urban centers which are densely populated, thus people have to suffer from the accomodation scarcity. Therefore, the national leaders ought to destroy the degraded residential areas such as the slums at riversides or outskirts in order to build the high-rise buildings which have more floors as well as increase the capacity, thus the government can meet the demand in housing. Moreover, the traffic systems which are in poor conditions are one of the primary reasons for road collisions, this will put the adverse impacts on the residents. Thus, it is imperative that the policy markers allocate the national budgets to renovate new buildings and improve road safety for citizens. Although developing cities by building new houses and road is important, the state must look after in renovating the historical buildings. Firstly, ancient buildings play a crucial role in preserve culture values of the cities, which means it is considered to be a culture identity because the old buildings embody the special features of culture, architecture, beliefs and lifestyle of the ancient civilizations, which may bring the historical value for today people, especially archeology. Additionally, it is necessary to reconstruct the histrorical buildings such as temples, churchs or museums to bring the image to the subsequent generations, in oder to gain the deeper insights into the past history of their country. At the same time, the ancient buildings make a significant contribution on bringing educational values to young children. For instance, schools always organize for students visit museums becauces museums which are the historical places and house numerous historical relics and artefacts, thus it will help children become more excited in studying as well as researching history. Besides, in term of economic aspects, the historical buildings serve as tourist attractions so the nation can earn the huge amount of money by charging admissions and use it for the next renovation. Therefore, the government should invest in the old buildings restoration in order to maintain the historical values as well as earn the profit from it. In conclusion, I personally hold the belifes that focusing on restoring the old buildings should be a priority for governments due to the cultural and educational values as well as potential economic value.
It is
widely
believed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
leaders ought to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
money on
Possible spelling mistake found.
restroring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
pointview
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have suitable policies in renovation
Possible spelling mistake found.
historicalm
buildings.

The policy markers should
also
allocate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
budget to reconstruct degraded ones by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
new residential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to replacing the slums and upgrading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
infrastructure. Due to the rising demand of housing for the large number of the citizens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
urban centers which are
densely
populated,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
scarcity.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
leaders ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the degraded residential areas such as the slums at riversides or outskirts in order to build the high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which have more floors as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as increase the capacity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand in housing.
Moreover
, the traffic systems which are in poor conditions are one of the primary reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
collisions, this will put the adverse impacts on the residents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, it is imperative that the policy markers allocate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
budgets to renovate new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety for citizens.

Although developing cities by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, the state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
look after in renovating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
play a crucial role in preserve culture values of the cities, which means it
is considered
to be a culture identity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
embody the special features of culture, architecture, beliefs and lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
civilizations, which may bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
archeology.
Additionally
, it is necessary to reconstruct the
Possible spelling mistake found.
histrorical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
such as temples,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "churches", the plural form of the noun 'church'?
churchs
or museums to bring the image to the subsequent generations, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
oder
to gain the deeper insights into the past history of their country. At the same time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant
The usual preposition for "contribution" is "to". Did you mean "contribution to"?
contribution on
bringing educational values to young children.
For instance
, schools always organize for students visit museums
Possible spelling mistake found.
becauces
museums which are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
relics and
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children become more excited in studying as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as researching history.
Besides
, in term of economic aspects, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
serve as tourist attractions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the nation can earn the huge amount of money by charging admissions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for the
next
renovation.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "buildings'" or "building's"?
buildings
restoration in order to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
values as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as earn the profit from it.

In conclusion
, I
personally
hold the
Possible spelling mistake found.
belifes
that focusing on restoring the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should be a priority for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
due to the cultural and educational values as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as potential economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
.
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IELTS essay Government should support old building restoration or invest in the construction of new houses and roads.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
444 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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