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Advertisements are getting more common. Some people do not pay attention to it while others think that adverts are important for businesses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Advertisements are getting more common. Some people do not pay attention to it while others think that adverts are important for businesses. 56ErN
There is a contradictory trend in terms of the significance of lots of advertisements. While I agree with those who consider it as an important factor in a business, others believe that the prevalence of advertising made it not attention-grabbing anymore. On the one hand, advertisements have become an usual part of everyday life. And the mass amount of them can bother viewers. Take adverts in the Internet, for example. Because of watching the advert many times, most of net users prefer to simply skip it. Moreover, people tend to foreseen the main theme of advertisements. As the consequence of watching adverts on each step, people, in front of TV, know what they are about just in the beginning, so they prefer to not watch it until the end and turn to another chanel. On the other hand, I support that advertising products plays a crucial role in financial sphere. Because it is the best way to inform public about new products. As an example lots of delivery services, that commenced their advertisements during quarantine period, can be noted. Secondly, advertisements remind people of companies' goods. Coca-Cola there can be an obvious example. In order to prevent people from forgetting about their product the company spends billions of dollars in each year for advertising in spite of it is one of the largest companies. To sum up, despite some part of the public lose their interest to advertisements, it is always better for companies to make known their products with the help of adverts.
There is a contradictory trend in terms of the significance of lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who consider it as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in a business, others believe that the prevalence of advertising made it not attention-grabbing anymore. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have become
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
usual part of everyday life. And the mass amount of them can bother viewers. Take adverts
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
,
for example
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of watching the advert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times, most of net users prefer to
simply
skip it.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend
Did you mean "to foresee"?
to foreseen
the main theme of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. As the consequence of watching adverts on each step,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in front of TV, know what they are about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in the beginning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
and turn to another
Possible spelling mistake found.
chanel
.
On the other hand
, I support that advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
plays a crucial role in financial sphere.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it is the best way to inform public about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. As an example lots of delivery services, that commenced their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
during quarantine period, can
be noted
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
remind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. Coca-Cola there can be an obvious example. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from forgetting about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
spends billions of dollars in each year for advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
it is one of the largest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. To sum up, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the public lose their interest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, it is always better for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
known their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of adverts.
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IELTS essay Advertisements are getting more common. Some people do not pay attention to it while others think that adverts are important for businesses.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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