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Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development? v.5

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 5
Advertisement is helping the manufacture to promoting and marketing their product and service to consumers. It has brought the significant changes about imposing the development of consuming and trading in the community. It is believed this has both positive and negative impacts on our lives, and personally. I totally agree with this statement. On the one hand, advertising activities contribute to economic development by stimulating the market. To begin with, advertising is one of the main means for marketing industrial goods and services without the help aggressive advertising businesses, so it's difficult to public their brands and products. Moreover, the more they advertise, the more opportunities they have to sell their goods better. As the consumer's perspective, the advertisement also plays an important role in making a right choice. The advertising can be informative and offers a wider range of option that suitable for each consumer’s interests and values. On the other hand, the cost is increasing due to too much advertising, which will cause a greater burden for both customers and the companies. Furthermore, there is also a problem that some advertising is not suitable for kids or if they watch too much, it would be a negative affects. For example, there are a significant number of advertisements which contain the violent scene, so it is not suitable for them to watch. These are also many advertisements such as the toy review and sweet, they would ask their parents to buy and it will be a financial burden for the low income family. To sum up, besides, the growth of the advertising industry, there is also caused some had an effect on the customers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
is helping the manufacture to promoting and marketing their product and service to consumers. It has brought the significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
about imposing the development of consuming and trading in the community. It
is believed
this has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and
personally
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

On the one hand, advertising activities contribute to economic development by stimulating the market. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, advertising is one of the main means for marketing industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
aggressive advertising businesses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's difficult to public their brands and products.
Moreover
, the more they advertise, the more opportunities they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sell their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
better. As the consumer's perspective, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
also
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in making a right choice. The advertising can be informative and offers a wider range of option that suitable for each consumer’s interests and values.

On the other hand
, the cost is increasing due to too much advertising, which will cause a greater burden for both customers and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Furthermore
, there is
also
a problem that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertising is not suitable for kids or if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
too much, it would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
affects.
For example
, there are a significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
which contain the violent scene,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not suitable for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. These are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
such as the toy review and sweet, they would ask their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and it will be a financial burden for the low income family.

To sum up,
besides
, the growth of the advertising industry, there is
also
caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
had an effect on the customers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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