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Advertisement is one of the ways for the entrepreneur to advertise their products to society. In business recently, they tend to emphasize that their products are new.

Advertisement is one of the ways for the entrepreneur to advertise their products to society. In business recently, they tend to emphasize that their products are new. bEAL3
Advertisement is one of the ways for the entrepreneur to advertise their products to society. In business recently, they tend to emphasize that their products are new. From my point of view, this is a negative way to encourage customer to being interested to their products. In the following paragraphs, causes of this issue will be discussed in detail. First of all, advertising is one of the ways to advertise products to the customers. New products always being interested by many customers, because humans always wanted to try new things in their lives. Using the same products for the longs time may make them feel bored. According to one of the snack companies in Thailand, this company have release their product with a new taste every 2 months for a year and this is being one of the popular snack for every age. Furthermore, this company have a cooperation with the repetitive chef to put on the specific taste and smell to the products. The reasons why this product was very famous, because their strategies making people want to try the new favor of snack or in some cases their just want to be in trend. As a result, this snack company are being one of the favorite snacks for most of the people. Additionally, the way that business has always release new product is a negative development for entrepreneur. This is one of the strategies of business to advocates people to being interested with it. However, they have to considers their product is having good quality and the price that can easy to access to any groups age. Moreover, finding more specific things to encourage people to interested with it for a long time. To summarize, humans always want to try or use the new things in their lives. trying or using new products can be their experiences in their live, hence business that emphasize on creating new products can be one of the best ways for them to being successful in their business.
Advertisement is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
for the entrepreneur to advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to society. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
recently, they tend to emphasize that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
. From my point of view, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to encourage customer to
Did you mean "be"?
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In the following paragraphs, causes of this issue will
be discussed
in detail.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, advertising is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the customers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'being'.
always being
In English, people don't say "interested by'. They say, "interested in'. Did you mean "interested in"?
interested by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
humans always wanted to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Using the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for the longs time may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel bored. According to one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in Thailand, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
have release their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
taste every 2 months for a year and this is being one of the popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
for every age.
Furthermore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
have a cooperation with the repetitive chef to put on the specific taste and smell to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The reasons why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their strategies making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to try the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to be in trend.
As a result
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
are being one of the favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has always release
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development for entrepreneur. This is one of the strategies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to advocates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
with it.
However
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "consider".
considers
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality and the price that can easy to access to any groups age.
Moreover
, finding more specific things to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Did you mean "interest"?
interested
with it for a long time.

To summarize
, humans always want to try or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
trying
or using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can be their experiences in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
that emphasize on creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can be one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
for them to being successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
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IELTS essay Advertisement is one of the ways for the entrepreneur to advertise their products to society. In business recently, they tend to emphasize that their products are new.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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