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advantages of disadvantages of using new technology

advantages of disadvantages of using new technology Wy5NN
Firstly, it is very convenient for people to use new technology to do their works that it can be helpful for solving their life problems and improving their working efficiency as well. In contrast, people who were living 40 years ago were always using papers and pens to make documents and do calculations without computers and any mobile devices, and as a result not only they spent a long time on their works but also wasted a lot of resources. Since the computers and IPhone devices were born, they have definitely started to fix human life problems such as correcting errors on word, automatically calculating the prices on excel, and sending a message via Whatsapp even someone being so far away. In other words, it can help the users save time and costs on their works. On the other hand, the new technology may sometimes cause some problems such as technical issues and social issues and therefore, it will influent the user's work if their computers or mobile devices are suddenly out of order. For example, the computers and iPhone which are a machine may not be predicted when they will be damaged or be stopped working on one day. Once they are not working, not only the users cannot use them to complete their jobs but also will need to spend money on repairing them. Another example, some people who want to earn money may buy a new mobile device such as iPhone and Sony mobile phone and then trade it out, and the main reason is that they concentrate on profiting money through selling the new devices which the sale's price may be set higher than the cost's price. Thus, it seems that this action may deceive many consumers who bought these devices from the sales.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology to do their works that it can be helpful for solving their life problems and improving their working efficiency
as well
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were living 40 years ago were always using papers and pens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
documents and do calculations without computers and any mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, and
as a result
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they spent a long time on their works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
wasted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
resources. Since the computers and
Possible spelling mistake found.
IPhone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
were born
, they have definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
human life problems such as correcting errors on word,
automatically
calculating the prices on excel, and sending a message via
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
even someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far away.
In other words
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the users save time and costs on their works.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems such as technical issues and social issues and
therefore
, it
The word 'influent' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will influent
the user's work if their computers or mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are
suddenly
out of order.
For example
, the computers and iPhone which are a machine may not
be predicted
when they will
be damaged
or be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working on one day. Once they are not working, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the users cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to complete their jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will need to spend money on repairing them. Another example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to earn money may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
such as iPhone and Sony mobile phone and then trade it out, and the main reason is that they concentrate on profiting money through selling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
which the sale's price may
be set
higher than the cost's price.
Thus
, it seems that this action may deceive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consumers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
from the sales.
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IELTS essay advantages of disadvantages of using new technology

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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