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Advantages nad disadvantages of puting parents in old age homes

Advantages nad disadvantages of puting parents in old age homes 3YaGb
Old age care homes are trending nowadays as the aged members of the family are not being taken care of by the younger generation. This essay will suggest the various advantages and disadvantage of this fashion in the ensuing paragraphs. The most evident benefit of establishing these old age homes is the free of cost healthcare facility. This is because most old people need regular medication at this stage of their lives and can't even afford it as there's no source of income for them. Also, they need a full time assistance of people around them which is unlikely to happen in a disputed family. Furthermore, being around their agemates caters them with a stability and comfort to live. For example, reasearch conducted by red cross society in March 2019 found that people living in nursing homes are 34 percent healthier than those living within families. . On the contrary, the biggest drawback of abandoning these elderly people by their families is the increased emotional stress. As a result to which happiness of these people remains hampered causing them with deep scars in life. It is clearly illustrated by the report of the health comission last month that 85 percent of old people in this health care facilities are emotionally disturbed compared to living with families. In conclusion, creation of these old age care centres have reduced the burden of medical ailments and consistent support one requires. However, the mental stability provided by a family cannot be ignored.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
homes are trending nowadays as the aged members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are not
being taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of by the younger generation. This essay will suggest the various advantages and disadvantage of this fashion in the ensuing paragraphs.

The most evident benefit of establishing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age homes is the free of cost healthcare facility. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need regular medication at this stage of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and can't even afford it as there's no source of income for them.
Also
, they need a full time assistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them which is unlikely to happen in a disputed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Furthermore
, being around their
Possible spelling mistake found.
agemates
caters them with a stability and comfort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasearch
conducted by red cross society in March 2019 found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in nursing homes are 34 percent healthier than those living within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


On the contrary
, the biggest drawback of abandoning these elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is the increased emotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result to which happiness of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
remains hampered causing them with deep scars in life. It is
clearly
illustrated by the report of the health
Possible spelling mistake found.
comission
last month that 85 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facilities are
emotionally
disturbed compared to living with families.

In conclusion
, creation of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the burden of medical ailments and consistent support one requires.
However
, the mental stability provided by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
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IELTS essay Advantages nad disadvantages of puting parents in old age homes

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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