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ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF PLAYING VIDEO GAMES

ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF PLAYING VIDEO GAMES leKRW
Video games have become very popular due to technological advancements. The number of people playing video games regularly is very high; moreover, this number keeps increasing. Playing video games has both advantages and disadvantages for a person. First of all, there are some benefits of playing video games for a person. The biggest advantage of playing video games is that it improves hand and eye coordination. According to studies, the hand and eye coordination of people playing video games regularly are much better than people who do not play video games. Also, playing video games has a substantial effect on decision-making. Gamers are quicker than people who do not play video games when making decisions. On the other hand, playing video games has some disadvantages for a person. Firstly, video games dissocialize people. For instance, a person plays video games instead of meeting his/her friends. Secondly, video games can be addictive and this situation is the most essential disadvantage of playing video games. Video game addiction is one of the most crucial problems of the World; furthermore, unfortunately, the number of people who are addicted to video games keeps increasing. To sum up, playing video games has both benefits and downsides for people. The advantages are that it improves hand and eye coordination, and it has a substantial effect on decision making; the disadvantages are that it dissocializes people and it can be addictive. In addition, one should consider these advantages and disadvantages before playing video games.
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Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular due to technological advancements. The number of
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
regularly
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high;
moreover
, this number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
increasing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
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video
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games
has both
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advantages
and disadvantages for a person.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of
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playing
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video
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games
for a person. The biggest
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advantage
of
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playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
and eye coordination. According to studies, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
and eye coordination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
regularly
are much better than
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people
who do not play
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Also
,
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playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has a substantial effect on decision-making. Gamers are quicker than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not play
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video
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games
when making decisions.

On the other
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hand
,
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playing
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages for a person.
Firstly
,
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissocialize
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people
.
For instance
, a person plays
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
instead
of meeting his/her friends.
Secondly
,
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video
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games
can be addictive and this situation is the most essential
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disadvantage
of
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playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
game addiction is one of the most crucial problems of the World;
furthermore
, unfortunately, the number of
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people
who
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
increasing.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has both benefits and downsides for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
are that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
and eye coordination, and it has a substantial effect on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
; the disadvantages are that it
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissocializes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it can be addictive.
In addition
, one should consider these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF PLAYING VIDEO GAMES

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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