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Advantages and disadvantages of electronic devices

Advantages and disadvantages of electronic devices RNw7o
There is a ever-increasing of technology and those devices paly an important part of each person life. But everything will probably has both sides and technology is not left out. So what is the good sides and bad sides of eclectronic devices? . Firts of all, we can not deny that technology in general and electronic devices in partcular, have a greatest function to make our life become easier. It is shown through daily life of everyone. For example, smartsphone from Apple has a bunch of artificial intelligent on the products such as: Siri, Voice control, etc. This help people control the devices adequately, find the information on the internet by voice is absolutely modern and our English or another languages can be improved. Also, through this intelligent devices we can get access to everything we want from shopping to study. Secondly, with electronic devices we can learn lessons effectively with clarify explanation, sounds and pictures. In this technology era, all the things we learn and work become more lively thanks to the elcectronic devices. With just a laptops or computers you can study all of thing you desire to know. Especially, for learning languages. From apps on those contemporary devices such as: Duolingo, dictionary, online newspaper. According to experts of education, sounds and pictures has made a significant contribution in process of learning. Our brain will work easier with sounds and pictures, to be more specific, music is a particular example for sounds, children who listen to music everyday and start to learn how to pronoun and remember the alphabet. Some people compose their own song with the lyrics from the lessons they had learned at school. For pictures, people tend to remember the logos or the things that they have seen for the first time in a colourful way so that is pictures in general, there can be painting, film or photos, etc. Those kind of image and sounds help us remember longer, so if we want to have a impressive results in study and work, you should have one of many electronic devices. Besides that, there are still some disadvantages of electronic devices but I need to force into 2 main detriment. Firstly, electronic devices make our eyes tired. Eyes is the major part of the body, this part help us get access to those electronic devices easily. So if our eyes become weaker and weaker, think about it, it is so hard to intergrate and use devices. Nowadays, there are a large number of people who have myopia in the world, not only adults but also even the children. Miopia phenomenon is the negative consequences of electronic devices. Additionally, electronic devices make children less communicate. When children turn to less disclose, they only try to stay at home, play games and watch Television. Communicate is the way that we try to be more active and also the way we use to refresh our mind after a busy day or week. For instance, Autism is the type of disease, it is difficult to cure and is the repercussion of digital devices. To sum up, Technology is the greatest tool if we use it in the right ways but also being the bad effections if we use it in an overly dependent.
There is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ever-increasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
Possible spelling mistake found.
paly
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of each person life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
everything will
probably
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
both sides and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
what is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides of
Possible spelling mistake found.
eclectronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


Possible spelling mistake found.
Firts
of all, we can not deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in general
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
partcular
, have
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
greatest function to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life become easier. It
is shown
through daily life of everyone.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
smartsphone
from Apple has a bunch of artificial intelligent on the products such as: Siri, Voice control, etc. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
adequately
, find the information on the internet by voice is
absolutely
modern and our English or another languages can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Also
, through this intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to everything we want from shopping to study.

Secondly
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
we can learn lessons
effectively
with clarify explanation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sounds
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
era, all the things we learn and work become more lively thanks to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
elcectronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a laptop" or simply "laptops"?
a laptops
or computers you can study
Consider using "all thing" or "all of the thing".
all of thing
you desire to know.
Especially
, for learning languages. From apps on those contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as: Duolingo, dictionary, online newspaper. According to experts of education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sounds
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
has made a significant contribution in process of learning. Our brain will work easier with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sounds
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
, to be more specific, music is a particular example for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sounds
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who listen to music
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to learn how to pronoun and remember the alphabet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
song with the lyrics from the lessons they had learned at school. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to remember the logos or the things that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for the
first
time
Consider replacing "in a colourful way" with the adverb for "colourful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a colourful way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
in general
, there can be painting, film or photos, etc.
Did you mean "this kind" or "Those kinds"?
Those kind
of image and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sounds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us remember longer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if we want to have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
impressive
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "result"?
results
in study and work, you should have one of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices.

Besides
that, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I need to force into 2 main detriment.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our eyes tired. Eyes is the major part of the body, this part
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if our eyes become weaker and weaker,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
intergrate
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. Nowadays, there are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have myopia in the world, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Miopia
phenomenon is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
less communicate. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
turn to less disclose, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
try to stay at home, play games and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Television. Communicate is the way that we try to be more active and
also
the way we
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
refresh our mind after a busy day or week.
For instance
, Autism is the type of disease, it is difficult to cure and is the repercussion of digital devices.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is the greatest tool if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in the right ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
being the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
effections
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in an
overly
dependent.
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IELTS essay Advantages and disadvantages of electronic devices

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
544 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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