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Some people think that the best way to reduce spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city centre with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to reduce spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city centre with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. 15kWG
Those who have long distances to travel to offices and schools may well believe that if apartment blocks built near to commercial and business hubs would greatly reduce both hours wasted and stress. There are though those who favour that central areas should remain surrounded by green areas. My opinion leans strongly with those who hold the latter view. As it is noted some argue that placing apartment buildings near the centre is surely convenient for the commuter. For example, they do not need to take subways or walk far to offices, stores, shops and other places of business. However, but building too many apartments near the city centre makes problems for those in the middle, for instance, given the concentration of roads near to urban areas, both businesses and people will suffer heavy traffic jams during rush hours, which result in creating lengthy delays. Therefore, easily proving hardly the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling. Conversely, viewing this from the perspective of replacing parks and gardens with high-rises means workers will have no places to relax, and the environment deteriorates and in turn for those who work there suffer a detrimental effect on their productivity. Besides, compared with apartments, centrally placed pleasant open spaces creates positive effects on the city’s environment and attitude on those whose employment is situated. In conclusion, replacing gardens and parks with apartments is not the best method to save people’s time travelling to work, it will have a negative effect and harm the city’s environment, those who work in central areas and the outcome is the city being subject to traffic jams increasing time wasting rather than reducing it.
Those
who
have long distances to travel to offices and schools may well believe that if
apartment
blocks built
near
to commercial and business hubs would
greatly
reduce
both hours wasted and
stress
. There are though those
who
favour
that central
areas
should remain surrounded by green
areas
. My opinion leans
strongly
with those
who
hold the latter view.

As it
is noted
some
argue that placing
apartment
buildings
near
the
centre
is
surely
convenient for the commuter.
For example
, they do not need to take subways or walk far to offices, stores, shops and other places of business.
However
,
but
building too
many
apartments
near
the city
centre
makes
problems for those in the middle,
for instance
,
given
the concentration of roads
near
to urban
areas
, both businesses and
people
will suffer heavy traffic jams during rush hours, which result in creating lengthy delays.
Therefore
,
easily
proving hardly the best way to
reduce
the time spent in travelling.

Conversely
, viewing this from the perspective of replacing parks and gardens with high-rises means workers will have no places to relax, and the environment deteriorates and in turn for those
who
work there suffer a detrimental effect on their productivity.
Besides
, compared with
apartments
,
centrally
placed pleasant open spaces creates
positive
effects on the city’s environment and attitude on those whose employment
is situated
.

In conclusion
, replacing gardens and parks with
apartments
is not the best method to save
people
’s time travelling to work, it will have a
negative
effect and harm the city’s environment, those
who
work in central
areas
and the outcome is the city being subject to traffic jams increasing
time wasting
rather
than reducing it.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city centre with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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