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Advantage and disadvantage of living in the city

Advantage and disadvantage of living in the city gYo6O
Living in cities has always been the dream of rural people. Maybe city people will never realise it. Fast growing cities have now become independent in terms of transportation, network and plethora of other facilities. The lights of cities are the main attraction which calls out people from underdeveloped areas. Living in cities has its own perks. If a person has to travel, then he can easily find cabs through apps like Uber or Ola. Because of good schools and educated teachers, children's learning becomes a cake of walk and their thinking process widens up. City dwellers cans easily access internet with high speed. This helps in online shopping, booking tickets, ordering food and many more. For commuting, metros are being built in major cities. This is the fastest way of travelling within cities avoiding traffic. A coin has two sides. Similarly city dwellers feel to stay out of the city. Major issue is the pollution level. Different vehicles discharge pollutants and hence increases the impurity level of air. Industries present in cities not only pollute the air but also the land and water due to different type of waste generated by factories. Noise pollution from vehicles does let people sleep at night. The artificial sweeteners and chemicals used to make food tastier and to make it last longer. This adversely affects the health of adults and children. Because of this, children have poor digestive system and immunity. As everything is available at doorstep, city people have become lazy and make excuses to live to healthier. This leads to heart problem, kidney issues and shooting sugar levels. To recapitulate, city dwellers have better standard of living in order to have comfortable life. But with every comfort, comes the side effects of living lavishly.
Living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has always been the dream of rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Maybe city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will never
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become independent in terms of transportation, network and plethora of other facilities. The lights of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are the main attraction which calls out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from underdeveloped areas.

Living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perks. If a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
travel, then he can
easily
find cabs through apps like Uber or Ola.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schools and educated teachers, children's learning becomes a cake of walk and their thinking process widens up. City dwellers cans
easily
access internet with high speed. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in online shopping, booking tickets, ordering food and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. For commuting, metros are
being built
in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This is the fastest way of travelling within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
avoiding traffic.

A coin has two sides.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
city dwellers feel to stay out of the city. Major issue is the pollution level.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
vehicles discharge pollutants and
hence
increases the impurity level of air. Industries present in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pollute the air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the land and water due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of waste generated by factories. Noise pollution from vehicles does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sleep at night. The artificial sweeteners and chemicals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
food tastier and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it last longer. This
adversely
affects the health of adults and children.
Because of this
, children have poor digestive system and immunity. As everything is available at doorstep, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become lazy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
excuses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
to healthier. This leads to heart problem, kidney issues and shooting sugar levels.

To recapitulate, city dwellers have better standard of living in order to have comfortable life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with every comfort,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the side effects of living
lavishly
.
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IELTS essay Advantage and disadvantage of living in the city

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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