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Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. with this opinion? 0L1G
In many parts of the world nowadays we can notice the increasing science and technologies which extends our soul for significant years. It can be commonly seen in developed countries such as the USA, Japan and etc. I completely agree with this opinion that there is no better time to be alive than now. This will be proven by analyzing the inability of technologies that can give to patients only physical conditions and their incapabilities for some people because each person's life already has written by God in our fate. First of all, it must be recognized that up to date automation are not able to give moral support to the- person whom they are healing. This is evidenced by the experiment based on extending a person's activity for 8-10 years which were failed because there was a lack of additional ingredients which never will be apparent when they apply this test. This example makes it clear that we should appreciate our alive moment here and now. Thus, it must be concluded that science and equipment cannot completely give us a healthy being. In addition to this, the Almighty had written, as well as, knew when we will die. Therefore, we are not able to escape from our destiny. Michael Jackson did make-up and used machinery to make himself younger. However, despite these deeds, death took him in his 50 years anyway play a good example here. When looking at this example, it is obvious that we will stay anyway in the end with this decision: there is no better time to be alive than now. Overall, I think the most important thing is to manage and turn our lives to the good side instead of spending effort on extending our life. To summarize, after analyzing the above, it must be concluded that none of the things made by people can help people to avoid his circumstance.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world nowadays we can notice the increasing science and technologies which extends our soul for significant years. It can be
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
such as the USA, Japan
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion that there is no better time to be alive than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. This will
be proven
by analyzing the inability of technologies that can give to patients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physical conditions and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
incapabilities
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each person's life already has written by God in our fate.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be recognized
that up to date automation are not able to give moral support to the- person whom they are healing. This
is evidenced
by the experiment based on extending a person's activity for 8-10 years which
were failed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was a lack of additional ingredients which never will be apparent when they apply this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that we should appreciate our alive moment here and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be concluded
that science and equipment cannot completely give us a healthy being.

In addition
to this, the Almighty had written,
as well
as, knew when we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
Therefore
, we are not able to escape from our destiny. Michael Jackson did
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
machinery to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
himself younger.
However
, despite these deeds, death took him in his 50 years anyway play a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here. When looking at this example, it is obvious that we will stay anyway in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with this decision: there is no better time to be alive than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Overall
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is to manage and turn our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side
instead
of spending effort on extending our life.

To summarize
, after analyzing the above, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be concluded
that none of the things made by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to avoid his circumstance.
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IELTS essay Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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