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Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. with this opinion? GkMx
Apparently, there has been an dramatic improvements in health, biology and other sectors in the past century, has drastically altered the course of action of our lives at the same time has increased the longevity of humankind. The most superior time to be full of life is at present. I strongly opine that scientific advancements greatly influence the quality of life and the major risk have been reduced. First, comparing life with a century ago, in modern era advanced deeds like doctors, hospitals, medicine, diagnose, treatment, donor are available trouble free, all of which were extremely rare previously. Advancement in since has improved the quality of methods which were used ages ago replacing with better, efficient and inexpensive diagnosis and treatment facilities. For instance, in 1918 influenza was by an considerable amount in eastern part of Europe and has taken many lives which can be treated easily by proper medication and precautions nowadays. Therefore, due to advancement in science our lives has undoubtedly improved. Secondly, heath risk have fallen incredibly, so much that it is possible to cure almost any bacteria, virus, fungi, which previously carried considerably danger and people can travel anywhere in the world they wish for. This is because traditionally preventive measures such as vaccination and treatments of those microorganism did not exist. However, in last 20 years its cost has fallen making it possible to treat anyone with sufficient funds. As a result modern science has increased the opportunity and reduced the risk anyone wanting to travel to dangerous rainforest to scorched deserts. To conclude, I strongly believe that presently is the most optimum time to be alive. With help of advance equipment’s and effective medicine there has been an significant changes in lifestyle of humankind making it possible by advancement in health and biology zone.
Apparently
, there has been
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
dramatic
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "improvement"?
improvements
in health, biology and other sectors in the past century, has
drastically
altered the course of action of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at the same time has increased the longevity of humankind. The most superior time to be full of life is at present. I
strongly
opine that scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advancements
greatly
influence the quality of life and the major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

First
, comparing life with a century ago, in modern era advanced deeds like doctors, hospitals, medicine, diagnose, treatment, donor are available trouble free, all of which were
extremely
rare previously.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advancement
in since has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the quality of methods which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
ages ago replacing with better, efficient and inexpensive diagnosis and treatment facilities.
For instance
, in 1918 influenza was by
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
considerable amount in eastern part of Europe and has taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
which can
be treated
easily
by proper medication and precautions nowadays.
Therefore
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advancement
in science our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
has
undoubtedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Secondly
, heath
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
have fallen
incredibly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that it is possible to cure almost any bacteria, virus, fungi, which previously carried
considerably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can travel anywhere in the world they wish for. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
traditionally
preventive measures such as vaccination and treatments of
Did you mean "this microorganism" or "those microorganisms"?
those microorganism
did not exist.
However
, in last 20 years its cost has fallen making it possible to treat anyone with sufficient funds.
As a result
modern science has increased the opportunity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
anyone wanting to travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
rainforest to scorched deserts.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
presently
is the most optimum time to be alive. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of advance equipment’s and effective medicine there has been
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in lifestyle of humankind making it possible by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advancement
in health and biology zone.
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IELTS essay Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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