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Advancement in technology helps to improve the standard of life. Meanwhile, according to data, while the average change in society in developing countries is positive, in richer countries this can be exactly the opposite. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Advancement in technology helps to improve the standard of life. Meanwhile, according to data, while the average change in society in developing countries is positive, in richer countries this can be exactly the opposite. with this? x2GeN
Nowadays the invention of technology makes to better standard life. But according to the survey, technology has a positive impact in developing countries while this can be negative in richer countries. I disagree with the statement because technology provides employment opportunities and better health services in wealthy nations. Firstly, technology which could bring positive things not only for themselves but also for the whole world. In wealthy nations, the development of technology creates more jobs for inhabitants that is why poverty rate and crime rate are lower in these countries. For instance, Japan has better provision for employment. Therefore, Japan is well established country. All the credit goes to the technological development. In addition, rich countries lead to better health services for the residents with the help of technology. Wealthy nations built up new hospitals, diagnostic centres and parks fir improving the health condition of people. These nations provide a good security services to the citizens. Owing to this, crime rate has lesser in rich countries. In conclusion, technological development provides better standard lifestyle not only for developing countries but also for wealthy nations. This development layouts more jobs and better services to people
Nowadays the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
to
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better
standard life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
according to the survey,
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technology
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact in developing
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countries
while this can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
in richer
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countries
. I disagree with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides employment opportunities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
nations.

Firstly
,
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technology
which could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the whole world. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
creates more jobs for inhabitants
that is
why poverty rate and crime rate are lower in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, Japan has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
provision for employment.
Therefore
, Japan is well established
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country
. All the credit goes to the technological development.

In addition
, rich
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countries
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for the residents with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
built up new hospitals, diagnostic
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and parks fir improving the health condition of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to the citizens. Owing to this, crime rate has lesser in rich countries.

In conclusion
, technological development provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
standard lifestyle not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. This development layouts more jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
people
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IELTS essay Advancement in technology helps to improve the standard of life. Meanwhile, according to data, while the average change in society in developing countries is positive, in richer countries this can be exactly the opposite. with this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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