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Work is taking a more and more important role in people’s lives. Why are people working so much ? do you think this trend is good or bad?

Work is taking a more and more important role in people’s lives. Why are people working so much? do you think this trend is good or bad? eeQe7
Often, work take over everithing else in humas lives. However, the desire to secceed professionally can cause numerous issues of private life and health. Nowadays, humanity has expensive life. Development of innovation technologies provide people new material values, for instance, updated models of phones, hi-tech computers and cars. They need more money for buying these material possessions, as a result, they work harder, and career begin to play the most important role in their lives. In spite of more money, people have less time for their family, to enjoy living and care about their health. Dissatisfaction and stress of the job can lead to problems of personal privacy and well-being, for example, women are used to eat sweets or fast-food to feel better after nervous tension. Consequently, they can have overweight or obesity by eating the wrong kind of food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, work take over
Possible spelling mistake found.
everithing
else in
Possible spelling mistake found.
humas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, the desire to
Possible spelling mistake found.
secceed
professionally
can cause numerous issues of private life and health. Nowadays, humanity has expensive life. Development of innovation technologies provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
new material values,
for instance
, updated models of phones, hi-tech computers and cars. They need more money for buying these material possessions,
as a result
, they work harder, and career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to play the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
more money,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have less time for their family, to enjoy living and care about their health. Dissatisfaction and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of the job can lead to problems of personal privacy and well-being,
for example
, women are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eat sweets or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food to feel better after nervous tension.
Consequently
, they can have overweight or obesity by eating the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
kind of food.
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IELTS essay Work is taking a more and more important role in people’s lives. Why are people working so much? do you think this trend is good or bad?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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