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Work is taking a more and more important role in people’s lives. Why are people working so much ? do you think this trend is good or bad?

Work is taking a more and more important role in people’s lives. Why are people working so much? do you think this trend is good or bad? eeQe7
Often, work take over everithing else in humas lives. However, the desire to secceed professionally can cause numerous issues of private life and health. Nowadays, humanity has expensive life. Development of innovation technologies provide people new material values, for instance, updated models of phones, hi-tech computers and cars. They need more money for buying these material possessions, as a result, they work harder, and career begin to play the most important role in their lives. In spite of more money, people have less time for their family, to enjoy living and care about their health. Dissatisfaction and stress of the job can lead to problems of personal privacy and well-being, for example, women are used to eat sweets or fast-food to feel better after nervous tension. Consequently, they can have overweight or obesity by eating the wrong kind of food.
Often
, work take over
everithing
else in
humas
lives
.
However
, the desire to
secceed
professionally
can cause numerous issues of private life and health. Nowadays, humanity has expensive life. Development of innovation technologies provide
people
new material values,
for instance
, updated models of phones, hi-tech computers and cars. They need more money for buying these material possessions,
as a result
, they work harder, and career
begin
to play the most
important
role in their
lives
.
In spite of
more money,
people
have less time for their family, to enjoy living and care about their health. Dissatisfaction and
stress
of the job can lead to problems of personal privacy and well-being,
for example
, women are
used
to eat sweets or
fast
-food to feel better after nervous tension.
Consequently
, they can have overweight or obesity by eating the
wrong
kind of food.
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IELTS essay Work is taking a more and more important role in people’s lives. Why are people working so much? do you think this trend is good or bad?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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