Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Adults today do not do enough exercise. Some people believe that showing major sports events like the Olympics or the Football World Cup on television encourages people to exercise. Others argue that there are better ways to encourage adults to move more. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Adults today do not do enough exercise. Some people believe that showing major sports events like the Olympics or the Football World Cup on television encourages people to exercise. Others argue that there are better ways to encourage adults to move more. lAAw
It is an undeniable fact that enough physical activity is not done by many adult people. While some think that individuals are encouraged by showing important sports activities such as the Olympics games or the Football World Cup on TV, other people believe that this can be better achieved by different methods. In my opinion, adults can be fostered to participate in physical exercises by making them watch TV programmes related to sports. On the one hand, I agree that people above 18 years ought to be shown sports activities in TV in order to persuade them to take part in strenuous physical activities. This is because they are often encouraged by sports individuals, particularly elite athletes, who maintain better physique owing to their rigorous workouts and games in sports matches. Furthermore, watching a sports activity in the media would enable adults to learn about any game with ease, which would have been almost impossible had they did not view these games in the first place. On the other hand, according to some, individuals who are 18 years or more can be better encouraged to exercise in other ways. Firstly, advertisements, for instance, newspapers or billboards need to give more emphasis on physical education, which could motivate adult people to start exercising. Moreoever, schools could probably teach students about physical exercises and games. By doing this, these pupils may start to be active, which might filter through to their parents as well. For instance, in the UK, many adults started to lead an active lifestyle as a result of playing games with their children who learnt these games at their educational premises. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I believe that they can be easily persuaded to exercise by broadcasting activities related to sports on TV.
It is an undeniable fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is not done by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that individuals
are encouraged
by showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as the Olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or the Football World Cup on TV, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this can be better achieved by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can
be fostered
to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
by making them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
related to sports.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
above 18 years ought to
be shown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in TV in order to persuade them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in strenuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encouraged by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
individuals,
particularly
elite athletes, who maintain better physique owing to their rigorous workouts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
matches.
Furthermore
, watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in the media would enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to learn about any game with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
, which would have been almost impossible had they did not view these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in the
first
place.

On the other hand
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, individuals who are 18 years or more can be better encouraged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in other ways.
Firstly
, advertisements,
for instance
, newspapers or billboards need to give more emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education, which could motivate adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
exercising.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moreoever
, schools could
probably
teach students about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. By doing this, these pupils may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to be active, which might filter through to their parents
as well
.
For instance
, in the UK,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to lead an active lifestyle
as a result
of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with their children who
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at their educational premises.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I believe that they can be
easily
persuaded to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
by broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on TV.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Adults today do not do enough exercise. Some people believe that showing major sports events like the Olympics or the Football World Cup on television encourages people to exercise. Others argue that there are better ways to encourage adults to move more.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts