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Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective. BNDa
Modern society is confronting with an ever-increasing crime rate among young people. There appear to be various reasons for such a situation and a number of solutions also appear to be possible, which will be discussed in ensuing paragraphs. Perhaps the major factor is the government’s failure to generate employment in proportion to students graduating from the university. For example, in India, every year lakhs of students are graduating in various fields and become job-ready. However, very few of them get the job they desired. The majority of them accept the employment for which they are over-eligible and others in the absence of job opportunities turn their ways towards morally unethical work. Another possible cause is the internet meaning that it has increasingly closely connected people through social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. These are constantly flooded with glamorous lifestyle information of celebrities that young generations follow the most. The youngster tries to copy their lifestyle and live like them without considering the financial situations they are in and eventually when they are short of money they start committing indulge in crime. Turning to possible solutions, the most obvious step for the government would be to increase economic activities by accepting foreign direct investment from a foreign company, meaning that foreign investors invest money in the country to start businesses, which in turn generate enough employment opportunities and take steps to control the population of the country, this would increase employment and consequently reduce crime. The second remedy might be social media censorship, which means the government agency should monitor the content of these sites and also enact a law that restricts the use of media by celebrities to influence young people in the wrong directions. In summary, the unemployment rate and increasing use of social media appear to be the main cause. Reform in government policy and social media censorship may well lessen the severity of the situation.
Modern society is confronting with an ever-increasing crime rate among young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. There appear to be various reasons for such a situation and a number of solutions
also
appear to be possible, which will
be discussed
in ensuing paragraphs.

Perhaps the major factor is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
failure to generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
in proportion to students graduating from the university.
For example
, in India, every year lakhs of students are graduating in various fields and become job-ready.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job they desired. The majority of them accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
for which they are over-eligible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
in the absence of job opportunities turn their ways towards
morally
unethical work. Another possible cause is the internet meaning that it has
increasingly
closely
connected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. These are
constantly
flooded with glamorous lifestyle information of celebrities that young generations follow the most. The youngster tries to copy their lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like them without considering the financial situations they are in and
eventually
when they are short of money they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
committing indulge in crime.

Turning to possible solutions, the most obvious step for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would be to increase economic activities by accepting foreign direct investment from a foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, meaning that foreign investors invest money in the country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
businesses, which in turn generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
opportunities and take steps to control the population of the country, this would increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
and
consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crime. The second remedy might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
censorship, which means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
agency should monitor the content of these sites and
also
enact a law that restricts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
by celebrities to influence young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
directions.

In summary, the unemployment rate and increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
appear to be the main cause. Reform in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
policy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
censorship may well lessen the severity of the situation.
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IELTS essay Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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