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Adulthood should begin when children are old enough to take responsibility for their actions. They should wait until they are at least 21 before they can drive or vote in elections. 18 is too young.

Adulthood should begin when children are old enough to take responsibility for their actions. They should wait until they are at least 21 before they can drive or vote in elections. 18 is too young. nebBR
In most countries specify minimum voting and driver’s license at 18 year-old. Although, government stipulated that people whose has age more than eighteen are empowered to electrocution; some people argue this should not be able to acceptable. As age increases dependability have to escalated too. A minority believe eighteen age not appropriate to do any of things related to political and law is too young to decide, commit to vote president. Despite they are few country that minor come out encounter to reform that show people to see their power and about an analyze. In side of driving some of adulthood have no responsibility to their friends who use road even their life they did not aware it will make an accident therefore mostly concerned about this. Source shows statistics young people have no regulate. That will brings towards to offending others people they have lower experience despite they have driver’s license is not guarantee drive experience it can describe only knowledge they acceptable if children a re old enough for being adulthood some of children did not agree about this nowadays youth have to do a lot thing that give them an opportunity for learning. It make children get better respond than elder people. In my opinion I strongly agree with society must give children to being adulthood when they are old enough for their own life such as they have responsibility to carrying some things that can ruin their life however about getting vote I disagree, at eighteen they are old enough to electrocution to decide their own country way.
In most countries specify minimum voting and driver’s license at 18 year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Although,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
stipulated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose has age more than eighteen
are empowered
to electrocution;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue this should not be able to acceptable.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
age increases dependability
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
escalated too. A minority believe eighteen age not appropriate to do any of things related to political and law is too young to decide, commit to vote president. Despite they are few country that minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out encounter to reform that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their power and about an
The word 'analyze' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "analysis"?
analyze
. In side of driving
Consider using "some adulthood" or "some of the adulthood".
some of adulthood
have no responsibility to their friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
road even their life they did not aware it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an accident
therefore
mostly
concerned about this. Source
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
statistics young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no regulate. That will brings towards to offending others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they have lower experience despite they have driver’s license is not guarantee drive experience it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
knowledge they acceptable if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a re
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for being adulthood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
about this nowadays youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do a lot thing that give them an opportunity for learning. It
Did you mean "makes"?
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better respond than elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In my opinion I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to being adulthood when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life such as they have responsibility to carrying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things that can ruin their life
however
about getting vote I disagree, at eighteen they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to electrocution to decide their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country way.
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IELTS essay Adulthood should begin when children are old enough to take responsibility for their actions. They should wait until they are at least 21 before they can drive or vote in elections. 18 is too young.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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