Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion

Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion 62B3
The development of communities requires the vibrant energy of young blood. There are many volunteer programs, in most communities, where the young utilize their vigour for the good of men. But, to ascertain the involvement of the young adult in community development, I believe monetary incentives should be there. It is true that one should not wait for material advantages before trying to contribute to his society. The drive for helping others should be an integral part of one’s moral integrity. But too often the modern man is compelled to shun that which is moral and embrace what is beneficial materially, directly, and to himself. Aside from the weakness of character shown in such cases, by man, often his morality succumbs to the rising need for sustaining oneself independently. Ages ago the youth was spared from such desperation, by the cooperative social structure of then. But now, every adult is out on his own. So, to neutralize the economic pressure blocking the adult young from participating in community development, the people should arrange for them monetary incentives. That way they can sustain themselves and the community at the same time. A more practical perspective may tell us that today’s age is really not so much compatible with volunteering. In many developed countries, even the police force is run profitably. And CSR of profit motivated enterprises has started replacing non-profit philanthropy. So to expect adults, young or not, to volunteer for community development is only cacophony amidst the modern melody of social building and maintenance. In the end, though, a conclusion to this argument relies on circumstantial judgement, and balancing of individual and social interests. While money will motivate a permanent source of energy for developing communities, youths should not wait for a cost benefit analysis before saving a community in dire straits.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
requires the vibrant energy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
blood. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
volunteer programs, in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
utilize their
Possible spelling mistake found.
vigour
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, to ascertain the involvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, I believe monetary incentives should be there.

It is true that one should not wait for material advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
trying to contribute to his society. The drive for helping others should be an integral part of one’s moral integrity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is compelled
to shun that which is moral and embrace what is beneficial
materially
,
directly
, and to himself. Aside from the weakness of character shown in such cases, by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
his morality succumbs to the rising need for sustaining oneself
independently
. Ages ago the youth
was spared
from such desperation, by the cooperative social structure of then.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, every adult is out on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to neutralize the economic pressure blocking the adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
from participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should arrange for them monetary incentives. That way they can sustain themselves and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
at the same time.

A more practical perspective may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s age is
really
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much compatible with volunteering. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, even the police force
is run
profitably
. And CSR of profit motivated enterprises has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
replacing non-profit philanthropy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
or not, to volunteer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cacophony amidst the modern melody of social building and maintenance.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, though, a conclusion to this argument relies on circumstantial judgement, and balancing of individual and social interests. While money will motivate a permanent source of energy for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
, youths should not wait for a cost benefit analysis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
saving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in dire straits.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts