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adukt education and government funds on it

adukt education and government funds on it 3bbXn
Education empowers and molds person into responsible citizen. Many countries give importance to the education of young adults but education of adults is neglected. In this essay we will discuss the significance of adult education as well as explain that funding on education of adults by government is a wise decision. To begin with, education of adults is crucial for well being of future generation. Studies have shown that there is correlation between child health, development and literacy of parents, especially maternal. Futhermore, when adults have atleast basic education proper decisions can be made by them about health and income. Hence education plays pivotal role in the maintenance of family. In addition to that, spending money by government on adults education is investment in itself, as it is not only beneficial for people but also for country. To support this, when more and more residents are literate there can be less unemployment. Moreover, literacy rate can bring down the crime rate as well. Eventually, money is spent to improve the current conditionds and future of the country. To conclude, education given to adults help themselves likewise country will flourish.
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Education
empowers and molds person into responsible citizen.
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Many
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countries
give importance to the
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education
of young
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adults
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but
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education
of
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adults
is neglected
. In this essay we will discuss the significance of adult
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education
as well
as
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explain
that funding on
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education
of
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adults
by
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government
is a wise decision. To
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begin
with,
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education
of
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adults
is crucial for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of future generation. Studies have shown that there is correlation between child health, development and literacy of parents,
especially
maternal.
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Futhermore
, when
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adults
have
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atleast
basic
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education
proper decisions can
be made
by them about health and income.
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Hence
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education
plays pivotal role in the maintenance of family.
In addition
to that, spending money by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
on
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "adults'" or "adult's"?
adults
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education
is investment in itself, as it is not
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only
beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
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country
. To support this, when more and more residents are literate there can be less unemployment.
Moreover
, literacy rate can bring down the crime rate
as well
.
Eventually
, money
is spent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Possible spelling mistake found.
conditionds
and future of the
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country
.
To conclude
,
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education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
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adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves
likewise
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country
will flourish.
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IELTS essay adukt education and government funds on it

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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