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According to some people, money is measure to all happiness. Do you agree or disagree it this statemen?t

According to some people, money is measure to all happiness. it this statemen? t BJNGp
Some are of the viewpoint is that money is the solution for all happiness. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement. My inclination is justified further. The foremost argument I shall put forth is that people can not buy good health through money. These means, people have money, but they have some injuries in their health. For instance, in India, there are many rich people are living in standard societies, yet they are unhappy with their some health related issues such as heart problem and cancer. Although they are believe that revenue is the best remedy for all happiness, and people are struggling in these difficulties. To add to this, people can not purchase relationships through funds. Even though people who are the richest, they have not to belong to in complete family. A few lack of some relationships, because they are not good in some other qualities except money. For example, some people have not good qualification, so that is difficult in finding the best partner. Therefore, money cannot be solved all the issues. On the contrary, some people would not disregard the aspect that is that people can but anything which they want for their fulfill life. They are searching goods in the best qualities, which are expensive, but they are satisfied with that a great product. Moreover, a few like to live in luxury infrastructure. That is not cheap, for this they have a large amount of revenue as well as they can enjoy their life with this amenity. To conclude, I agree that money is important, yet not for all cheerfulness. As they cannot but good health and the best relationships; however, a few differ about that and state that it is the best remedy for all kinds of problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the viewpoint is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the solution for all happiness. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement. My inclination
is justified
further
.

The foremost argument I shall put forth is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. These means,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
injuries in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, in India, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in standard societies,
yet
they are unhappy with their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related issues such as heart problem and cancer. Although they are
Consider using a past participle here: "believed".
believe
that revenue is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
remedy for all happiness, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are struggling in these difficulties.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
relationships through funds.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are the richest, they have not to belong to in complete family. A
Possible agreement error. The noun lack seems to be countable; consider using: "few lacks".
few lack
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relationships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other qualities except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
qualification,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
difficult in finding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
partner.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
be solved
all the issues.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not disregard the aspect
that is
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
anything which they want for their fulfill life. They are searching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
qualities, which are expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
are satisfied
with that a great product.
Moreover
, a few like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in luxury infrastructure.
That is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, for this they have a large amount of revenue
as well
as they can enjoy their life with this amenity.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
yet
not for all cheerfulness. As they cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
relationships;
however
, a few differ about that and state that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
remedy for all kinds of problem.
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IELTS essay According to some people, money is measure to all happiness. it this statemen? t

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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