Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

According to some people, children should not be allowed to take part in dangerous activities.

According to some people, children should not be allowed to take part in dangerous activities. While I do agree with this view to a great extent, in my opinion, allowing children to perform adventurous activities under expert supervision is a great way to help them conquer their fears. There are certainly several reasons to prevent young children from participating in dangerous activities. To start with, they are too young to gauge the consequences of their actions. Their understanding of safety and harm is not fully developed and consequently they may undertake activities that cause them serious injuries and sometimes even death. For these reasons, young children should be forbidden from doing things that might hurt them. On the other hand, many dangerous activities can be safely performed by children under adult supervision. For example, it is dangerous for children who cannot swim to go and bathe in the river or sea. However, if they are accompanied by a parent or guardian with good swimming skills, this is an opportunity for them to not only have fun but also learn an important life skill. Likewise, children should not be allowed to cook on their own, but if there is a parent to guide them, they can safely undertake this activity as well. Undertaking dangerous or adventurous activities allow children to conquer their inner fears and learn valuable skills that will stand them in good stead. Also, many of these dangers can be mitigated by equipping children with protective clothing and taking other safety measures. In conclusion, children must certainly not be allowed to engage in dangerous activities unattended. However, it is possible for them to undertake many of these activities safely under adult supervision.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. While I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view to a great extent, in my opinion, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to perform adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
under expert supervision is a great way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them conquer their fears.

There are
certainly
several reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, they are too young to gauge the consequences of their actions. Their understanding of safety and harm is not
fully
developed and
consequently
they may undertake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that cause them serious injuries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even death. For these reasons, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be forbidden
from doing things that might hurt them.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can be
safely
performed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under adult supervision.
For example
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who cannot swim to go and bathe in the river or sea.
However
, if they
are accompanied
by a parent or guardian with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
swimming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, this is an opportunity for them to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
learn an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to cook on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if there is a parent to guide them, they can
safely
undertake this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
as well
. Undertaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
or adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to conquer their inner fears and learn valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that will stand them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
can
be mitigated
by equipping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with protective clothing and taking other safety measures.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
certainly
not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
unattended.
However
, it is possible for them to undertake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
safely
under adult supervision.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay According to some people, children should not be allowed to take part in dangerous activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts