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According to recent sociological research by a leading American university, couples should get married when they are closer to 30 rather than 20 years of age. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

According to recent sociological research by a leading American university, couples should get married when they are closer to 30 rather than 20 years of age. with this statement? GD9B
In the past, people prefer to marriage when they in the age of 20 to 25. But I believe that people should be married when they reach age nearly 30 for several reasons. The main two reasons are focus on their careers and going through many life experiences; these reasons lead them to have a happy life. To begin, when couples decide to get married when they are closer to 30 years old, they can focus on their careers. Because there is nothing that distracts them such as, the responsibilities of children and the home. Take the job as a priority thing leads to numerous advantages. First, when the person puts all the concentrate on the work can be promoted at work. Therefore, they will gain a lot of money or maybe their wage would double than before. Second, focusing on the job leads them to happy married life. For example, parents will have all qualities to provide a good life for their children and meet all their requirements, this makes them satisfied owing to their children are happy. That is why it is more significant to marriage when people's ages are closer to 30 than 20. The second reason is that people will have gone through many life experiences, and they dealt with many types of people. When passing through experiences and situations, a person will acquire many skills that make his/ her life wonderful special for couples. For example, at this age, spouses will not complain much because they can understand each other and not misunderstand. Moreover, the trust of mates between each other will increase, and this will lead to a decrease in the divorce rate in the world. Ultimately, gaining skills from past experiences will lead to a wonderful life for husbands and their children, because they will be able to behave well with their children. To sum up, I believe that marriage at age closely to 30 is important to have a happy life and bright future for couples and children. To illustrate, spouses can focus on their jobs, be promoted, earn a high salary, and gain many skills that can lead a happy married life.
In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to marriage when they in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 20 to 25.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be married
when they reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
nearly
30 for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. The main two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are focus on their careers and going through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
; these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
them to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, when couples decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married when they are closer to 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they can focus on their careers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there is nothing that distracts them such as, the responsibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the home. Take the job as a priority thing leads to numerous advantages.
First
, when the person puts all the concentrate on the work can
be promoted
at work.
Therefore
, they will gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money or maybe their wage would double than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Second, focusing on the job leads them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, parents will have all qualities to provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all their requirements, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them satisfied owing to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
That is
why it is more significant to marriage when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
are closer to 30 than 20.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have gone through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
, and they dealt with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When passing through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and situations, a person will acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his/ her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
wonderful special for couples.
For example
, at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, spouses will not complain much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can understand each other and not misunderstand.
Moreover
, the trust of mates between each other will increase, and this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to a decrease in the divorce rate in the world.
Ultimately
, gaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to a wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for husbands and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will be able to behave well with their children.

To sum up, I believe that marriage at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
closely
to 30 is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and bright future for couples and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To illustrate, spouses can focus on their jobs,
be promoted
, earn a high salary, and gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay According to recent sociological research by a leading American university, couples should get married when they are closer to 30 rather than 20 years of age. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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