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"Access to internet television streaming services (such as Netflix, Apple TV, BBC iPlayer etc) does more harm than good.

"Access to internet television streaming services (such as Netflix, Apple TV, BBC iPlayer etc) does more harm than good. bYkeq
Some people feel that it is beneficial to get internet access, while others feel that it is harmful. In my opinion, I think that to view programmes by using the internet can give more good thing for the people. On the one hand, there are a number to using a television by the internet. Firstly, people spend the most time in front of the television and might result in a lack of communication with their society. And that perhaps they cannot be familiar with the world around them. Secondly, aspect of financial, A large number of programmes have paid the supplier to get a viewing license and that will be a waste of money. For example, some people pay a high amount for BBC TV as monthly or annual. On the other hands, I consider the benefits gained by access to the web via the television. One positive aspect is that people have been using internet television to improve their education, such as YouTube. For example, during the pandemic, the majority of school and universities have moved to teach students a visual and most of them has graduated. Another upside which is for pleasure time, in other words, the children and adult have been trying to develop skills like listening. For example, some people use internet TV on smartphone and listening podcast anytime and anywhere and what language they need. In conclusion, it seems the internet television can be more useful and helpful for people in their scientific and practical lives and obvious outweigh drawback.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that it is beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
internet access, while others feel that it is harmful. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to view
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
by using the internet can give more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, there are a number to using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
by the internet.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend the most time in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and might result in a lack of communication with their society. And that perhaps they cannot be familiar with the world around them.
Secondly
, aspect of financial,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
have paid the supplier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a viewing license and that will be a waste of money.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay a high amount for BBC TV as monthly or annual.

On the other hands, I consider the benefits gained by access to the web via the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been using internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their education, such as YouTube.
For example
, during the pandemic, the majority of school and universities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to teach students a visual and most of them has graduated. Another upside which is for pleasure time,
in other words
, the children and adult have been trying to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like listening.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet TV on smartphone and listening podcast anytime and anywhere and what language they need.

In conclusion
, it seems the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can be more useful and helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their scientific and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and obvious outweigh drawback.
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IELTS essay "Access to internet television streaming services (such as Netflix, Apple TV, BBC iPlayer etc) does more harm than good.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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