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access to a lot of information on the internet led to problem

access to a lot of information on the internet led to problem 7Pjby
The tremendous development of the internet has changed our lives in many different ways. As far as I am concerned, the new modern use of technology gives us a plethora of information. There are two reasons why I feel this way, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, the internet involves a lot of material with valuable subjects for students when they do research. As a result, students will be able to reach fast and with the necessary information that they need which makes it helpful for submitting their assignments in the short run. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. Two years ago, when I was in freshman student. I was given the assignment to do paper research in history class and I have merely three days before the deadline. However, I was capable to grab various ideas and concepts from the internet which was extremely beneficial because I was submitted my work on time. Furthermore, In today's world, many people begin to care a lot about their health and the essential food that they should be eating. Therefore, the prevalence of information on the internet makes it possible for them to look for which suitable males for their health. For instance, Two years ago, I have struggled with obesity for many years, and caused me a lot of illnesses. Consequently, I made a profound search into the internet for advice on how to choose the right food and I was so surprised about the number of ideas that were suggested. As a result, I was capable of losing weight and be in shape without suffering from any diseases. To put it in a nutshell, I strongly believe that the internet is enormously helpful for so many individuals. This is because it assists students with their research and gives people vital health food choices for dealing with their diseases.
The tremendous development of the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. As far as I
am concerned
, the new modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology gives us a plethora of information. There are two reasons why I feel this way, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the internet involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
material with valuable subjects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they do research.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be able to reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and with the necessary information that they need which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it helpful for submitting their assignments in the short run. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. Two years ago, when I was in freshman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the assignment to do paper research in history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and I have
merely
three days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the deadline.
However
, I was capable to grab various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and concepts from the internet which was
extremely
beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
was submitted
my work on time.

Furthermore
, In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to care a lot about their health and the essential food that they should be eating.
Therefore
, the prevalence of information on the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for them to look for which suitable males for their health.
For instance
, Two years ago, I have struggled with obesity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, and caused me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
illnesses.
Consequently
, I made a profound search into the internet for advice on how to choose the right
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
food and
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
surprised about the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that
were suggested
.
As a result
, I was capable of losing weight and be in shape without suffering from any diseases.

To put it in a nutshell, I
strongly
believe that the internet is
enormously
helpful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it assists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with their research and gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vital health food choices for dealing with their diseases.
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IELTS essay access to a lot of information on the internet led to problem

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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