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What should we do protecting environment if our country was one of developing countries?

What should we do protecting environment if our country was one of developing countries? gDjRL
Nowadays our country is developing day by day. Uzbekistan is one of developing countries. All specialities are increasing at present. However, we can see some problems environment. I am sure Aral Sea must be global problem. It can effect over the world. Because it is drying day by day. Now 90 percent of Aral Sea was dried. It is unacceptable for environment. Firstly, it affected air. Air is being polluted year by year. Also, it is not changed only Uzbekistan. It can changed many countries' nature. So all of countries are looking for sollution this problem. Some countries think making there artificial mountain. It can help decreasing air pollution. Our country plants trees every year. For example, last year people planted many types of trees. Shortly, all countries should find solution to ecological problems. You know cities life. There life is noisy because of a lot of cars. Cars can damage to the air. It takes a lot of time rush hours. I think people use start electrical cars. They do not soil air. I can say one of development air pollution. Do not use plastic materials. They are bad for air. Everybody should know about damage to air. In my opinion, we adopt nature. Nature gives us life, air, water, beauty and etc. Morever, our duty is keeping clear environment.
Nowadays our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is developing day by day. Uzbekistan is one of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. All specialities are increasing at present.
However
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "problems'" or "problem's"?
problems
environment. I am sure Aral Sea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be global problem. It can effect over the world.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it is drying day by day.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
90 percent of Aral Sea
was dried
. It is unacceptable for environment.

Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
is
being polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Also
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Uzbekistan. It can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "change"
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries' nature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are looking for
Possible spelling mistake found.
sollution
this problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
making there artificial mountain. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
plants trees every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
For example
, last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
planted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of trees. Shortly, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should find solution to ecological problems.

You know cities life. There life is noisy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cars. Cars can damage to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
. It takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time rush hours. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
electrical cars. They do not soil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
. I can say one of development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. Do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic materials. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
. Everybody should know about damage to air.

In my opinion, we adopt nature. Nature gives us life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, water, beauty
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
, our duty is keeping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
environment.
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IELTS essay What should we do protecting environment if our country was one of developing countries?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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