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a time you Step out your comfort zone

a time you Step out your comfort zone YdDJ5
Feeling the hot air of summer days, I was on my way to Phan Boi Chau primary school in my hometown to give their students lots of used books and stationeries which were donated to my own charitable project, DeliveRead. Thinking about what I did, I realized that 0. 1 has changed my life. That was a great experience! Back to 2 years ago, in grade 9, I was dreaming of studying at VNU-HCM High School for the Gifted, which every student pursues. And so do I. With a high competition rate, this school is strenuous to enter. I spent almost my last school year in my secondary school to prepare for the entrance exam. When the test day came, I took 5 hours from my province to HCMC one day previously. However, the test was hard and I think I failed at that time. Seeing my score, I was disappointed. I asked myself whether I didn’t make enough effort or if this school was not suitable for me. Luckily, I’m 0. 1 higher than the benchmark. I passed. My effort was worth it. I can’t describe how happy I was. Finally, I decided to study in my dream school although I would be faced with difficulties. But I love challenges, I want to try new things every day. At that time, I didn’t think that decision would change my life. 16 years living with my parents. It is not easy to change something that you get used to. I came to HCMC in July, one month before school started. Luckily, my uncle lived in HCMC although it’s quite far from my school. However, Living with relatives may be better than living in a dorm. I was impressed by this magnificent city. New accommodation, new school, new friends and new life. These things made me become passive a month after moving. When the school year began, I took 1. 5 hours by the school bus because I lived quite far from my school. But it was nothing since I was wearing my dream school uniform. I met new friends, new teachers. …. . . However, I started to discover this city. Riding around the city to find new places, trying new food, or playing basketball with strangers gave me more experience. I love the feeling of doing something new. It was extremely different from my hometown. School environment helped me know what extracurricular activities are. Beside studying at school, I joined basketball and animal care clubs for my passion. In the summer of grade 10, the first time I was voted to become Head of Idea department in PACC. Day by day, …. . I can stand. I think that It’s time to have my own project and do something to help the community in my province. Seeing children in my hometown lack the condition of education and used books were wasted every year, I founded DeliveRead in June 2021 to call for donations for a month. Being a friendly leader, I and my members worked in a friendly environment. I love the way they treat each other like a family. After 3 days collecting, surprisingly, we collected about 100 combo used textbooks, 1500 notebooks, and so many stationers. I was shocked. I didn’t think my project was supported like that. Then I brought them to 4 schools which have a high poor children rate in my hometown. Wow, that was a great adventure. People grow up when they face the challenge. Until now, …………. Now I want to step out of my comfort zone again, to acquire a new education form in FUV ( or US). I believe studying in FUV is an opportunity for me to challenge myself and find out qualities inside me.
Feeling the hot air of summer days, I was on my way to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Boi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chau
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in my hometown to give their students lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
books and
Possible spelling mistake found.
stationeries
which
were donated
to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
charitable project,
Possible spelling mistake found.
DeliveRead
. Thinking about what I did, I realized that 0. 1 has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my life.

That was a great experience! Back to 2 years ago, in grade 9, I was dreaming of studying at
Possible spelling mistake found.
VNU-HCM
High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
for the Gifted, which every student pursues. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do I. With a high competition rate, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is strenuous to enter. I spent almost my last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in my secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to prepare for the entrance exam. When the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
day came, I took 5 hours from my province to
Possible spelling mistake found.
HCMC
one day previously.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
I failed at that time.

Seeing my score, I
was disappointed
. I asked myself whether I didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
effort or if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was not suitable for me. Luckily, I’m 0. 1 higher than the benchmark. I passed. My effort was worth it. I can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how happy I was.
Finally
, I decided to study in my dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
although I would
be faced
with difficulties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
challenges, I want to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things every day. At that time, I didn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that decision would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my life.

16 years living with my parents. It is not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
something that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to. I came to
Possible spelling mistake found.
HCMC
in July, one month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
.

Luckily, my uncle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
HCMC
although it’s quite far from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, Living with relatives may be better than living in a dorm. I
was impressed
by this magnificent city.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
accommodation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
life. These things made me become passive a month after moving.

When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
began, I took 1. 5 hours by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
bus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
quite far from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it was nothing since I was wearing my dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
uniform. I met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
teachers.

….
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to discover this city. Riding around the city to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places, trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
food, or playing basketball with strangers gave me more experience. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the feeling of doing something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
. It was
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from my hometown.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me know what extracurricular activities are. Beside studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
basketball and animal care clubs for my passion. In the summer of grade 10, the
first
time I
was voted
to become Head of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Idea
department in
Possible spelling mistake found.
PACC
. Day by day, ….
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
I can stand. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that It’s time to have my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
project and do something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community in my province.

Seeing children in my hometown lack the condition of education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
books
were wasted
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I founded
Possible spelling mistake found.
DeliveRead
in June 2021 to call for donations for a month. Being a friendly leader, I and my members worked in a friendly environment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the way they treat each other like a family. After 3 days collecting,
surprisingly
, we collected about 100 combo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
textbooks, 1500 notebooks, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stationers. I
was shocked
. I didn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
my project
was supported
like that. Then I brought them to 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which have a high poor children rate in my hometown.

Wow, that was a great adventure.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
grow up when they face the challenge. Until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, ………….

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I want to step out of my comfort zone again, to acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
education form in
Possible spelling mistake found.
FUV
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
or US). I believe studying in
Possible spelling mistake found.
FUV
is an opportunity for me to challenge myself and find out qualities inside me.

IELTS essay a time you Step out your comfort zone

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
626 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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