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A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Write atleast 250 words.

A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. Write atleast 250 words. 3xAxY
extent, having money can be one part of success. Having good relationships in another very important part of success. So is feeling fulfilled. Everybody needs money, but the amount of money necessary depend on each person's goals. For example, one person may want a lot of material things, like fancy cars and big houses. For this person, a lot of money is important. Everybody needs to have good relationships. Even a multimillionaire is not successful if he or she does not have close connections with other people. If a woman always fights with her husband, if a man's children refuse to speak to him, when adult children might never see their parents, they cannot be considered successful people. It is important to develop skills and pursue interests. It is important to spend time doing things that are enjoyable and meaningful. A person who is unhappy at work, in addition, cannot be considered successful no matter how big his salary is. Money and the material things it can by maybe one part of success, but non material things like relationship and self-fulfillment are just as important
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
extent
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be one part of success. Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships in another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part of success.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
is feeling fulfilled. Everybody needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
necessary depend on each person's goals.
For example
, one person may want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
material things, like fancy cars and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. For this person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. Everybody needs to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships. Even a multimillionaire is not successful if he or she does not have close connections with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. If a woman always fights with her husband, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's children refuse to speak to him, when adult children might never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their parents, they cannot
be considered
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and pursue interests. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to spend time doing things that are enjoyable and meaningful. A person who is unhappy at work,
in addition
, cannot
be considered
successful no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
his salary is.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
and the material things it can
Did you maybe mean "buy" or "be"?
by
maybe one part of success,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non material
things like relationship and self-fulfillment are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
important
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IELTS essay A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. Write atleast 250 words.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
184 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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