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Scientists and artists are important to a healthy society

Scientists and artists are important to a healthy society W5m8a
A perfect working society is build based on all types of individuals' contributions and two of them for sure are artists and scientists. Artists are designed to give entrainment to the people and at the same time to contribute with the emotional side, appealing for positive thoughts during the leisure time, which is extremally necessary for our psychological health. On the other side, we have the scientists, who also contribute with their work to a healthy society, considering that they are the workers who are searching for ways to achieve a better quality of life, who make researches and also contribute to discovering how to treat diseases. For example during the pandemic of COVID-19 scientists were essential to discover a vaccine to save the world. To sum up, which individual work is important to contribute to our society, scientists and artists both are essential.
A perfect working society is build based on all types of individuals' contributions and two of them for sure are artists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
. Artists
are designed
to give entrainment to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and at the same time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
with the emotional side, appealing for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thoughts during the leisure time, which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
extremally
necessary for our psychological health. On the other side, we have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
, who
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
with their work to a healthy society, considering that they are the workers who are searching for ways to achieve a better quality of life, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
researches and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to discovering how to treat diseases.
For example
during the pandemic of COVID-19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
were essential to discover a vaccine to save the world. To sum up, which individual work is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to our society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and artists both are essential.
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IELTS essay Scientists and artists are important to a healthy society

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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