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A serious problem facing cities right across the globe is the low air quality that leads to many health problems. Why is this happening, and what could be done to alleviate the problem?

A serious problem facing cities right across the globe is the low air quality that leads to many health problems. Why is this happening, and what could be done to alleviate the problem? M79e
It goes without saying that poor air quality in the cities is one of the biggest concern facing us today since it tremendously affects our health. Even though this problem is caused by a number of aspects, there is a chance for us to address this. One of the reason is that people nowadays are over-reliant on private transportation. This means an excessive vehicle is primarily used for people who owned it which is not available for any public purposes. Using private transportation has become a trend even it releases tons up carbon footprints, people feel it more convenient, clean and suitable for their own purposes. For instance, buses in Vietnam are somehow gross and take a long period of waiting consequently this is why citizens not feeling comfortable with public transportation. The way forward might be the government needs to repair and upgrade public vehicles to make it more modern, attractive and having a better quality. Another problem to consider is industrial wastes. By using non-renewable energy sources, smoke from industry when burning things or creating energy is the biggest threat toward human-being. This is in light of the fact that these energy sources unleashed green house has such as N20, CO2, VOx that seriously affected our respiratory system and can be fatal. For example in 2020, experts have found that Ha Noi's air pollution reaches critical level is not only by vehicles but also by smoke from industry. To tackle this problem, the government or industrial company should change in to nature or renewable energy sources such as sun power, wind power to decrease the emissions and increase our air quality. To sum up, poor air quality is caused by variety of reasons so the increasing in private transportation and industrial wastes are just two of them. However, these can be deal by the government's interference in upgrading public transports or finding a better source of energy.
It goes without saying that poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality in the cities is one of the biggest concern facing us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
since it
tremendously
affects our health.
Even though
this problem
is caused
by a number of aspects, there is a chance for us to address this.

One of the reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays are over-reliant on private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. This means an excessive vehicle is
primarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
it which is not available for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
purposes. Using private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has become a trend even it releases tons up carbon footprints,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel it more convenient, clean and suitable for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purposes.
For instance
, buses in Vietnam are somehow gross and take a long period of waiting
consequently
this is why citizens not feeling comfortable with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. The way forward might be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to repair and upgrade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more modern, attractive and having a better quality.

Another problem to consider is industrial wastes. By using non-renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, smoke from industry when burning things or creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is the biggest threat toward human-being. This is in light of the fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
unleashed green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
has such as N20, CO2,
Possible spelling mistake found.
VOx
that
seriously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our respiratory system and can be fatal.
For example
in 2020, experts have found that Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution reaches critical level is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by smoke from industry. To tackle this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in to nature or renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
such as sun power, wind power to decrease the emissions and increase our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality.

To sum up, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality
is caused
by variety of reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the increasing in private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and industrial wastes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
two of them.
However
, these can be
Consider using a past participle here: "dealt".
deal
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's interference in upgrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports or finding a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
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IELTS essay A serious problem facing cities right across the globe is the low air quality that leads to many health problems. Why is this happening, and what could be done to alleviate the problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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