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A number of individuals love transformation in their lives as they welcome

A number of individuals love transformation in their lives as they welcome dqXdE
A number of individuals love transformation in their lives as they welcome various experiments in order to achieve something better. While rest human beings feel arduous in adopting something new. I partially agree with the statement. This essay is going to articulate both sides of this with my perception in upcoming paragraphs. To embark on, as we all know that change is good as long as it never harms you and the people around you. For example, in the era of modernisation, the standard of education has increased too. If we talk about small towns where higher Education system is not developed, where mostly parents want their children to be successful in life and this is the reason many gaurdians are sending their younger children far outside in order to get further study. Consequently, when they completed their education and simultaneously get a desired job in capital cities and in the end they invite their guardians to live along with them. Furthermore, if we talk about the woman education, still it is debatable in certain situations. Here, I will take my own example as I m from orthodox family where girls are not allowed to wear western dresses and are not permitted to go out for study. However, my father supported me in every aspect even though he had to face criticism of being modern at certain point of life. since he never gave up and made us independent. On the other hand, those who oppose in adopting a new way of life has arduous opinion. For example, if we talk about 'khap panchayat' which is considered a cruel community in haryana's villages. For instance, they never allow any girl to marry a man of her choice as it is a matter of their status and ego. If it happens they kill both of them in order to practice their own made rules and regulations. To conclude, I would say that everyone must try something new in order to achieve their goals. However, there should be efforts by common public to accept other 's mindset as well.
A number of individuals
love
transformation in their
lives
as they welcome various experiments in
order
to achieve something better.
While
rest human beings feel arduous in adopting something new. I
partially
agree
with the statement. This essay is going to articulate both sides of this with my perception in upcoming paragraphs.

To embark on, as we all know that
change
is
good
as long as it never harms you and the
people
around you.
For example
, in the era of
modernisation
, the standard of
education
has increased too. If we talk about
small
towns where higher
Education
system is not developed, where
mostly
parents want their children to be successful in life and this is the reason
many
gaurdians
are sending their younger children far outside in
order
to
get
further
study.
Consequently
, when they completed their
education
and
simultaneously
get
a desired job in capital cities and in the
end
they invite their guardians to
live
along with them.

Furthermore
, if we talk about the woman
education
,
still
it is debatable in certain situations. Here, I will take my
own
example as I m from orthodox family where girls are not
allowed
to wear western dresses and are not permitted to go out for study.
However
, my father supported me in every aspect
even though
he had to face criticism of being modern at certain point of life.
since
he never gave up and made us independent.

On the other hand
, those who oppose in adopting a new way of life has arduous opinion.
For example
, if we talk about '
khap
panchayat
' which
is considered
a cruel community in
haryana
's villages.
For instance
, they never
allow
any girl to marry a
man
of her choice as it is a matter of their status and ego. If it happens they kill both of them in
order
to practice their
own
made
rules
and regulations.

To conclude
, I would say that everyone
must
try something new in
order
to achieve their goals.
However
, there should be efforts by common public to accept other 's mindset
as well
.
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IELTS essay A number of individuals love transformation in their lives as they welcome

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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