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A new generation of entrepreneurs believe that privately funded space tourism will be the next exciting development in space exploration. How true do you think this is? How would space tourism affect space exploration as we know it today?

Many young entrepreneurs consider that support of the private sector for space tourism is able to be a new way to explore space. I believe that space tourism would be an immersive activity for many participants, for this reason, it can supply more money to spend on space and its expensive equipment such as telescopes, rockets and human resources. Also, political support might be increased with huge public attention To begin with, there is a broad consensus amongst experts that the problematic issue for space research is lack of investment and funding. In general, governments are reluctant to invest money on this exploration owing to many fruitless attempts that are made before. This activity can be attractive to most parts of society. With this attraction, funding drawbacks can be solved. Research can be conveyed independently regardless of the financial budget. Thus, space tourism has a behemoth potential to supply adequate money for researches and space companies. It is important to bear in mind that plenty of space researches have been suffering from a lack of financial and political support. With developing space tourism, investors are able to be more generous when it compares the past. Because they would see income which might come from space tourism. Moreover, many governments have seen space research as a retrenchment for budget and it should be cut as possible. When space tourism starts to rise up, governments can change their decision with regards to revenue from the activity. Consequently, more funding is able to be supplied by governments and investors with the bright potential of this unique experience. To conclude, touristic activity to space has been seen as a spark to start a new era in space exploration by many young entrepreneurs. The aim of this essay is to agree that space tourism is able to be a viable alternative for both financially and also politically.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young entrepreneurs consider that support of the private sector for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to be a new way to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
would be an immersive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
participants,
for this reason
, it can supply more money to spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and its expensive equipment such as telescopes, rockets and human resources.
Also
, political support might
be increased
with huge public attention

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is a broad consensus amongst experts that the problematic issue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is lack of investment and funding.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are reluctant to invest money on this exploration owing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fruitless attempts that
are made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
can be attractive to most parts of society. With this attraction, funding drawbacks can
be solved
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Research
can
be conveyed
independently
regardless of the financial budget.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has a behemoth potential to supply adequate money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to bear in mind that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
have been suffering from a lack of financial and political support. With developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, investors are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to be more generous when it compares the past.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
income which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
as a retrenchment for budget and it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
as possible. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to rise up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their decision
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
revenue from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Consequently
, more funding is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
be supplied
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and investors with the bright potential of this unique experience.

To conclude
, touristic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a spark to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new era in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young entrepreneurs. The aim of this essay is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to be a viable alternative for both
financially
and
also
politically
.
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IELTS essay A new generation of entrepreneurs believe that privately funded space tourism will be the next exciting development in space exploration. How true do you think this is? How would space tourism affect space exploration as we know it today?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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