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A lot of peoplle think that children should work or travel after finishing school and start study in university but others think they should work.

A lot of peoplle think that children should work or travel after finishing school and start study in university but others think they should work. g5qrg
Some people say it is good thing to don't work or travel after gradueting school and begin study at universities but other people think thay in today's world it is important to work and you will learn to be independent Everything has two sides first let's look to some benefit sides of don't work between graduating school ans bwgi studying in universities this is good tnink about only studying for examlpe our grandfather Alisher Navoiy decided to travel after graduating school but his dad said you have to study hard and he became great and marvellous writer. Secondly if you don't work you can study perfect in university because you don't think about money or about other things. On the other hand it has some negative sides of don't working after finishing school because sometimes it is perfect to work because of anumber of reasons and you will be independent for instance one of the most talented inventor Thomas Alva Edison travel a lot after finishing school and became a legendary and of course we will feel responsibility for example one man said when we feel responsibility we can be an independent. To sum up despite the fact it is great idea because balance of life. I hold the view that everything have to on their own place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or travel after
Possible spelling mistake found.
gradueting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
study at universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and you will learn to be independent

Everything has two sides
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's look to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefit sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
between
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
ans
Possible spelling mistake found.
bwgi
studying in universities this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
tnink
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
studying for
Possible spelling mistake found.
examlpe
our grandfather
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alisher
Possible spelling mistake found.
Navoiy
decided to travel after
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his dad said you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hard and
he became great and
Possible spelling mistake. 'marvellous' is British English.
marvellous
writer.
Secondly
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
you can study perfect in university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about money or about other things.

On the other hand
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
working after finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is perfect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
anumber
of reasons and you will be independent
for instance
one of the most talented inventor Thomas Alva Edison travel a lot after finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and became a legendary and
of course
we will feel responsibility
for example
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
said when we feel responsibility we can be an independent.

To sum up despite the fact it is great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
balance of life. I hold the view that everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
place
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IELTS essay A lot of peoplle think that children should work or travel after finishing school and start study in university but others think they should work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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