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A lot of people store their information online these days. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

A lot of people store their information online these days. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages? RR3EG
Nowadays, keeping information on the internet is a growing interest. In my opinion, despite the benefits of online data storage, this is still high in risks like stealing or fake information. To begin with, the most significant advantage of storing information online is its convenience. It is very user-friendly because it allows users to easily access and share their information with others. Online storage also enables for global collaboration and access to your data from any internet-capable device. In addition, The information is arranged logically and more effectively for the user. Without having online information, we can face difficulties in managing our own information or data. In particular, when the disease will spread uncontrollably, people have online health check books to capture necessary health information or vaccinations. However, online data storage has some negative effects on information security. If the website is not well secured for users' privacy, we will be easily exposed to personal information, especially mobile phone numbers, account names on social networks Facebook, Instagram. . . that makes users in trouble because of spam messages, advertising messages… That's the condition for cybercrime to rampage strongly so you face higher risks of stealing information for evil purposes. For example, cybercriminals may sell your information for money or they may reveal your private information which puts you at risk. It’s very dangerous. Therefore, Everything has its pros and cons, and so is online data storage. Before the government issues effective sanctions to protect users against online attacks and scams, people need to minimize the provision and sharing of personal information to ensure the safety of ourselves.
Nowadays, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the internet is a growing interest. In my opinion, despite the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
, this is
still
high in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
like stealing or fake information.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most significant advantage of storing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is its convenience. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
user-friendly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
to
easily
access and share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
also
enables for global collaboration and access to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
from any internet-capable device.
In addition
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is arranged
logically
and more
effectively
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
. Without having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, we can face difficulties in managing our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
.
In particular
, when the disease will spread
uncontrollably
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
books to capture necessary health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
or vaccinations.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
security. If the website is not well secured for users' privacy, we will be
easily
exposed to personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
especially
mobile phone numbers, account names on social networks Facebook, Instagram.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in trouble
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of spam messages, advertising messages… That's the condition for cybercrime to rampage
strongly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you face higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of stealing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for evil purposes.
For example
, cybercriminals may sell your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money or
they may reveal your private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which puts you at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

Therefore
, Everything has its pros and cons, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
issues effective sanctions to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
attacks and scams,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to minimize the provision and sharing of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to ensure the safety of ourselves.
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IELTS essay A lot of people store their information online these days. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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