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Children should behind their education in early age. Others think that they should begin their education after 7. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Children should behind their education in early age. Others think that they should begin their education after 7. XqRYq
Some sceptics believe that children should have to start their academic education before turning 7 years. Consequently, they will connect with the world soon, while others think that it is compulsory that they ought to begin after 7 years. I, however, coincide with the former view. Both the aspects shall be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs before reaching a reasoned conclusion. There seem to be two main reasons stemming from this situation. To begin with, in this fast-paced era, it is extremely crude that children should learn plenty of other responsibilities rather than research materials. Moreover, it is worth discussing that schools and tutors play a vital role in every pupils life. In recent times there for instance, are ample of kinder gardens available, which are beneficial for juveniles. Educators teach them various activities such as, connecting with others, sharing foods and taking care of their items by themselves. Hence, if juveniles occupy tiny hours in these academics, it will be useful in every milestone. As far as the eventualities of joining institute at small age are concerned, we can not ignore that they are not enough mature to start academic materials until seven. Meanwhile, if parents leave them in a school unattended, they will have an abundant of understanding to learn all subjects. Additionally, in a lot of sountries, governments have already made the rules that students can not take admission before 7 years. Due to less of maturity, it is high chanced that they will connect with wrong individuals. Gist of the paragraph is: They can not gain enough knowledge because of a lack of understanding. To conclude, both situations have merits and demerits. If parents have able to learn their children various skills therefore it is not compulsory to take admission in early stage, they will begin their study after 7 years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Possible spelling mistake. 'sceptics' is British English.
sceptics
believe that children should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their academic education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
turning 7 years.
Consequently
, they will connect with the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is compulsory that they ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
after 7 years. I,
however
, coincide with the former view. Both the aspects shall
be discussed
in the forthcoming paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a reasoned conclusion.

There seem to be two main reasons stemming from this situation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced era, it is
extremely
crude that children should learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of other responsibilities
rather
than research materials.
Moreover
, it is worth discussing that schools and tutors play a vital role in every
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "pupils'" or "pupil's"?
pupils
life. In recent times there
for instance
, are ample of kinder gardens available, which are beneficial for juveniles. Educators teach them various activities such as, connecting with others, sharing foods and taking care of their items by themselves.
Hence
, if juveniles occupy tiny hours in these academics, it will be useful in every milestone.

As far as the eventualities of joining institute at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age
are concerned
, we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
that they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
mature to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
academic materials until seven. Meanwhile, if parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them in a school unattended, they will have
The phrase 'an abundant of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an abundant of
The verb 'understanding' is used with the gerund form: "understanding learning".
understanding to learn
all subjects.
Additionally
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sountries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have already made the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that students can not take admission
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
7 years. Due to less of maturity, it is high chanced that they will connect with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
individuals. Gist of the paragraph is: They can not gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a lack of understanding.

To conclude
, both situations have merits and demerits. If parents have able to learn their children various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
therefore
it is not compulsory to take admission in early stage, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
their study after 7 years.
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IELTS essay Children should behind their education in early age. Others think that they should begin their education after 7.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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