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A lot of controversy has been raised over public schooling versus private schooling.

A lot of controversy has been raised over public schooling versus private schooling. qQ2Dp
A lot of controversy has been raised over public schooling versus private schooling. I will try to explain this on two examples I encountered. So, my two sons studied in the Azerbaijani primary school and their further education in the Turkish school. Much debate has been made about the advantages and disadvantages of public and private schools. There are some compare and contrast the benefits and drawbacks of public and private schools: language, curriculum, athletics, cost, admissions, teachers, and discipline. In other words two different schools, two different culture, two different environment. First of all, the language we speak here is not very different from what we speak here in Azerbaijani schools. The curriculum in both public and private schools are similar because the state sets standards of what should be taught in the classroom. Then, athletics can also be comparable in both public and private schools because there is normally a mix of athletes at both types of schools. However, private school sports classes are held at a higher level and prepare for international competitions. Pupils in private schools are more confident. Children studying here are more comfortable expressing their opinions. But in public schools students' self-confidence is low. Then, the cost of attending school differs between public and private schools due to the fact that the government funds public schools and private schools receive no assistance from the government. As for teachers, teachers in public and private schools also treat students differently. In a private school, teachers treat students as friends. In a public school, there is a border between teachers and students. In their free time after school, there are interesting activities in private schools, such as kermes. Public schools do not have such an advantage. As for discipline, a private school has a disciplinary director, who oversees all school rules and regulations. In a public school, teachers do this work, even if they are the head of the discipline. In short, the freedom, self-confidence and proper organization of leisure time in private schools is superior to that in public schools. Therefore my children are very happy with the school they are currently studying at and therefore feel happy. 355 words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
controversy has
been raised
over
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public
schooling versus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
schooling. I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this on two examples I encountered.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, my two sons studied in the Azerbaijani primary
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school
and their
further
education in the Turkish school.

Much debate has
been made
about the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compare and contrast the benefits and drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
: language, curriculum, athletics, cost, admissions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, and discipline.
In other words
two
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, two
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different
culture, two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
environment.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the language we speak here is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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different
from what we speak here in Azerbaijani
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The curriculum in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are similar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the state sets standards of what should
be taught
in the classroom. Then, athletics can
also
be comparable in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is
normally
a mix of athletes at both types of
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schools
.
However
,
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private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
sports classes
are held
at a higher level and prepare for international competitions. Pupils in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more confident. Children studying here are more comfortable expressing their opinions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
students' self-confidence is low. Then, the cost of attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
differs between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
due to the fact that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
receive no assistance from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. As for
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teachers
,
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teachers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
treat students
differently
. In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
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teachers
treat students as friends. In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, there is a border between
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teachers
and students.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
their free time after
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school
, there are interesting activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
kermes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not have such an advantage. As for discipline, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has a disciplinary director, who oversees all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations. In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do this work, even if they are the head of the discipline.

In short, the freedom, self-confidence and proper organization of leisure time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is superior to that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
my children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they are
currently
studying at and
therefore
feel happy.

355 words
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IELTS essay A lot of controversy has been raised over public schooling versus private schooling.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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