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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.26

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 26
Different species of living beings are being increasingly bred in various parts of the world, due to many known reasons. Some individuals think that these living creatures need to be made use of, for the gain of mankind, while others believe that these animals have the exact equal rights to live on the planet, just like any other homo sapiens. In this essay, I will discuss the merits and de-merits of both these arguments and discuss why it is important to not harm or utilise the animals for our own good. Even though, it is unethical to utilise animals for fulfilling the needs of mankind, there are a few advantages to it. Firstly, animals are considered a good source of energy that can be tapped to provide with sufficient labour. For example, it is widely known that animals are majorly employed in farming and other laborious works in many developing countries like India. Secondly, animals can act as a source of food for the society by providing their meat, which in turn can help reduce the dependence of the society on the cultivated crops. Finally, in recent times, animals with the same genetic system as human beings are being increasingly used in laboratories for testing. To exemplify, it is an accepted fact that lab rats were used to discover the drug for Corona virus strand in 2020. However, there are a lot more de-merits of it. Not only does exploitation, harm the natural ecosystem of the environment, but also can result in the extinction or endangering of a few species. For instance, with exploitation of the farm animals and other domestic animals, it would directly result in the dwindling of their population and consequently harm the ecosystem. Likewise, hunting of wild animals would end up with the same consequence. Additionally, all animal beings are living creatures, who have the right to live just like every human being. Therefore, we cannot exploit them for our own good. To conclude, exploiting the animals for our benefits have a lot of negatives and hence needs to be stopped altogether. The current trend of breeding animals, out of our selfishness further needs to be outlawed permanently.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
species of living beings are being
increasingly
bred in various parts of the world, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
known reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these living creatures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of, for the gain of mankind, while others believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have the exact equal rights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on the planet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
homo sapiens. In this essay, I will discuss the merits and
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-merits
of both these arguments and discuss why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to not harm or
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

Even though
, it is unethical to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for fulfilling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of mankind, there are a few advantages to it.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are considered
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of energy that can
be tapped
to provide with sufficient
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
.
For example
, it is
widely
known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
majorly
employed in farming and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
laborious works in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like India.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can act as a source of food for the society by providing their meat, which in turn can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the dependence of the society on the cultivated crops.
Finally
, in recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
with the same genetic system as human beings are being
increasingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in laboratories for testing. To exemplify, it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
fact that lab rats were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to discover the drug for
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona virus
strand in 2020.

However
, there are a lot more
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-merits
of it. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does exploitation, harm the natural ecosystem of the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can result in the extinction or endangering of a few species.
For instance
, with exploitation of the farm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, it would
directly
result in the dwindling of their population and
consequently
harm the ecosystem.
Likewise
, hunting of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with the same consequence.
Additionally
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
beings are living creatures, who have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like every human being.
Therefore
, we cannot exploit them for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

To conclude
, exploiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for our benefits have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
negatives and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
altogether. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend of breeding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, out of our selfishness
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be outlawed
permanently
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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