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Smartphones are very popular in today's society with many benefits and conveniences that it brings to users.

Smartphones are very popular in today's society with many benefits and conveniences that it brings to users. Dqj0m
Smartphones are very popular in today's society with many benefits and conveniences that it brings to users. On the other hand, smartphones may cause physical and mental health problems. Smartphones can make it hard for students to concentrate on studying, leading to low productivity and poor performance. So smartphones should be banned at primary school that allows students to focus more on learning, and as a result, they can get better grades. First of all, mobile phones are a main cause of distraction from class learning. Students are not focused on subjects in the classroom by messages, playing games, using social networks and notifications which lead to poor exam and assignment performance. For example, my niece got low grades in her primary school classes because she is often messaging and playing with her mobile phone during lectures. Furthermore, smartphones can have detrimental effects on students’ health if misused or overused. In addition, phone’s screen light can harm the eyes and the radiation from this device is not good for your brain and your health. For example, student spend long hours closely staring at the screen of mobile phones. To sum up, by removing the use of smartphones from primary schools, students can spend more time in face-to-face interactions and build social skills. Therefore, I agree that students shouldn't use mobile phones while at school.
Smartphones are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and conveniences that it brings to users.
On the other hand
, smartphones may cause physical and mental health problems. Smartphones can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to concentrate on studying, leading to low productivity and poor performance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
smartphones should
be banned
at primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to focus more on learning, and
as a result
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better grades.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are a main cause of distraction from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
learning.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are not focused on subjects in the classroom by messages, playing games, using social networks and notifications which lead to poor exam and assignment performance.
For example
, my niece
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
low grades in her primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
messaging and playing with her mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
during lectures.
Furthermore
, smartphones can have detrimental effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
health if misused or overused.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone’s
screen light can harm the eyes and the radiation from this device is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for your brain and your health.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
spend long hours
closely
staring at the screen of mobile phones.

To sum up, by removing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of smartphones from primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can spend more time in face-to-face interactions and build social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
shouldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS essay Smartphones are very popular in today's society with many benefits and conveniences that it brings to users.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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