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CONSUMPTION OF FAST FOOD BY AUSTRALIAN TEENAGERS

CONSUMPTION OF FAST FOOD BY AUSTRALIAN TEENAGERS N3gad
The provided line graph depicts a comparison between three categories of junk food consumption eaten by Australian teenagers over 25 years from 1975 to 2000. Overall, the consumption of fish and chips declined over the provided period, whereas the amount of pizza and hamburgers had an opposite trend. In 1975, the amount of fish and chips peaked at 100 times per year, while the proportion of hamburgers and pizza at the same time were consumed approximately 5 times a year. However, apart from fluctuation from 1980 to 1985 before standing at roughly 95 times, the consumption of fish and chips has plummeted over the 25 years and was just under 40 in 2000. An opposite picture is that the ratio of teenagers ate the other two types of fast foods was higher. The consumption of pizza increased insignificantly until it surpassed the fish and chips in 1990. Then, it reached a plateau from 1995 to 2000. The exponential increase was noticeable in the amount of hamburgers consumption from 1975 to 1985, predominating that of fish and chips during that period. It finished at the same rate as fish and chips began and stayed static with a consumption of 100 times per year.
The provided line graph depicts a comparison between three categories of junk food
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consumption
eaten by Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
over 25 years from 1975 to 2000.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of fish and chips declined over the provided period, whereas the amount of pizza and hamburgers had an opposite trend.

In 1975, the amount of fish and chips peaked at 100
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times
per
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year
, while the proportion of hamburgers and pizza at the same
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time
were consumed
approximately 5
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times
a
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year
.
However
, apart from fluctuation from 1980 to 1985
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
standing at roughly 95
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times
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of fish and chips has plummeted over the 25 years and was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 40 in 2000.

An opposite picture is that the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
ate the other two types of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods was higher. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of pizza increased
insignificantly
until it surpassed the fish and chips in 1990. Then, it reached a plateau from 1995 to 2000. The exponential increase was noticeable in the amount of hamburgers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
from 1975 to 1985, predominating that of fish and chips during that period. It finished at the same rate as fish and chips began and stayed static with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS essay CONSUMPTION OF FAST FOOD BY AUSTRALIAN TEENAGERS

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
202 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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