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A CHILD´S EDUCATION IS THE RESPONSABILITY OF THE PARENTS MORE THAN THE SCHOOLS

A CHILD´S EDUCATION IS THE RESPONSABILITY OF THE PARENTS MORE THAN THE SCHOOLS m1321
THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT PARENTS ARE THE MAJOR RESPONSIBLE ON THEIR KIDS INSTRUCTION. WHILE SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE SCHOOLS ARE THE MAJOR RESPONSIBLE ON KID´S INSTRUCTION, OTHERS ARGUE THAT THE PARENTES SHOULD REPRESENT THE MOST IMPORTANT SUPPORT OVER A CHILD GROWTH. I WOULD AGREE WITH THE LATTER ARGUMENT AND IN THIS ESSAY I WILL SUPPORT MY VIEW WITH EXAMPLES. FIRSTLY, I WOULD SAY PARENT´S GUIDANCE OVER LIFE IS ONE OF THE MOST RELEVANT SUPPORT ONE CAN RECEIVE. THE BASIS OF A GOOD EDUCATION SHOULD BE TEACHED/STARTED AT HOME SINCE THE EARLY LIFE OF A PERSON. TO ILLUSTRATE I COULD TELL THAT A ONE YEAR OLD KID MIGHT BE TEACHED ABOUT RULES AND EDUCATION STATEMENTS. THAT IS TO SAY TO RISE A SON SUCCESSFULLY PARENTS SHOULD DETERMINE LIMITS SINCE THE VERY EARLY BEGIN. SECONDLY, ONCE IT IS TIME TO START SCHOOL ONE SHOULD HAVE ENOUGH TRAITS DEVELOPED BASED ON/ OVER A STRICT EDUCATION AND SO, SCHOOL IS ONLY A PLACE WHERE THE CHILDREN SHOULD IMPROVE KNOWLEDGE AND LEARN OTHERS RULES RELATED TO SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT AND BEHAVIOR. FOR INSTANCE IT IS IMPORTANT TO BRING UP THE POINT THAT A WELL RAISED KID WOULD ADAPT AND IMPROVE BETTER INTHE RELATIONSHIP AMONG COLEAGUES THAN OTHER WHO HAD NEVER HEARD A “NO” BEFORE. AS A CONSEQUENCE, I COULD SAY THAT AT THE POINT A PERSON ARRIVES AT SCHOOL THE BASIS OF HIS EDUCATION SHOULD BE CONSTRUCTED ALREADY. AS A CONCLUSION, PARENTS HAVE THE HUGEST RESPONSABILITY OF RAISING THEIR CHILDREN SUPPORTED ON THE EDUCATION BASIS THEY WOULD BELIEVE AND WITHOUT EXPECTING SCHOOL TO BE RESPONSABLE FOR SUCH A PECULIAR THING THAT IS SHARE PRINCIPLES AND RULES WITH YOUR DESCENDANTS.
THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT
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PARENTS
ARE THE MAJOR RESPONSIBLE ON THEIR
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KIDS
INSTRUCTION. WHILE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
BELIEVE
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SCHOOLS
ARE THE MAJOR RESPONSIBLE ON
The character between 'KID' and 'S' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "KID’S" (curly apostrophe) or "KID'S" (straight apostrophe).
KID´S
INSTRUCTION, OTHERS ARGUE THAT THE
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PARENTES
SHOULD REPRESENT THE MOST
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IMPORTANT
SUPPORT OVER A CHILD GROWTH. I WOULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
AGREE
WITH THE LATTER ARGUMENT AND IN THIS ESSAY I WILL SUPPORT MY VIEW WITH EXAMPLES.

FIRSTLY
, I WOULD SAY
The character between 'PARENT' and 'S' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "PARENT’S" (curly apostrophe) or "PARENT'S" (straight apostrophe).
PARENT´S
GUIDANCE OVER LIFE IS ONE OF THE MOST RELEVANT SUPPORT ONE CAN RECEIVE. THE BASIS OF A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
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EDUCATION
SHOULD BE
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TEACHED
/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STARTED
AT HOME SINCE THE EARLY LIFE OF A PERSON. TO ILLUSTRATE I COULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TELL
THAT A ONE YEAR
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OLD
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KID
MIGHT BE
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TEACHED
ABOUT
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RULES
AND
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EDUCATION
STATEMENTS.
THAT IS
TO SAY TO RISE A SON
SUCCESSFULLY
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PARENTS
SHOULD DETERMINE LIMITS SINCE THE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
VERY
EARLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
.

SECONDLY
, ONCE IT IS TIME TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
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SCHOOL
ONE SHOULD HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ENOUGH
TRAITS DEVELOPED BASED ON/ OVER A STRICT
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EDUCATION
AND
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SO
,
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SCHOOL
IS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
A PLACE WHERE THE CHILDREN SHOULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVE
KNOWLEDGE AND LEARN OTHERS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
RULES
RELATED TO SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT AND BEHAVIOR.
FOR INSTANCE
IT IS
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IMPORTANT
TO BRING UP THE POINT THAT A WELL RAISED
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KID
WOULD ADAPT AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVE
BETTER
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INTHE
RELATIONSHIP AMONG
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COLEAGUES
THAN OTHER WHO HAD NEVER HEARD A “NO”
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BEFORE
. AS A CONSEQUENCE, I COULD SAY THAT AT THE POINT A PERSON ARRIVES AT
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SCHOOL
THE BASIS OF HIS
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EDUCATION
SHOULD
BE CONSTRUCTED
ALREADY.

AS A CONCLUSION,
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PARENTS
HAVE THE HUGEST
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RESPONSABILITY
OF RAISING THEIR CHILDREN SUPPORTED ON THE
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EDUCATION
BASIS THEY WOULD BELIEVE AND WITHOUT EXPECTING
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SCHOOL
TO BE
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RESPONSABLE
FOR SUCH A PECULIAR THING
THAT IS
SHARE PRINCIPLES AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
RULES
WITH YOUR DESCENDANTS.
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IELTS essay A CHILD´S EDUCATION IS THE RESPONSABILITY OF THE PARENTS MORE THAN THE SCHOOLS

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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