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Many people feel that the preparation for students' career should be the mainfocus of schools, whereas others think that school’s purpose is improving students' ability. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective.

Many people feel that the preparation for students' career should be the mainfocus of schools, whereas others think that school’s purpose is improving students' ability. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective. YkOyj
Many people feel that the preparation for students' career should be the mainfocus of schools, whereas others think that school’s purpose is improving students' ability. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective. There are merits of school focusing on preparation for students’ working life in the future. First, knowledges and experiences which are taught at school create fundamental logic and thinking skills to ready for a job, especially in theuniversity, where students can learn subjects which is the preparation for a job in real life. Second, diplomas and degrees can prove that you have done a long period of time to train your skills to start a job. For example, in universities, you can learn about using tools and utilities such as Microsoft Office, Google Drive, etc. They are some important requirements at most positions. However, improving students’ ability is another good choice for schools. Students can choose to study many types of knowledge to choose some topics to delve them deeply. We can see that students from these schools can get better results on some specific tasks, which is what they choose to learn. Schoolers can also have some courses on physical and mental health, which help them to be healthier. In conclusion, I believe both sides of the argument have their merits. On balance, however, it seems that school focus onthe basic for people’s career. This is because schools and universities canbring experience in many majors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that the preparation for students' career should be the
Possible spelling mistake found.
mainfocus
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
purpose is improving students' ability. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective.

There are merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
focusing on preparation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
working life in the future.
First
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
and experiences which
are taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
create fundamental logic and thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to ready for a job,
especially
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
theuniversity
, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn subjects which is the preparation for a job in real life. Second, diplomas and degrees can prove that you have done a long period of time to train your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a job.
For example
, in universities, you can learn about using tools and utilities such as Microsoft Office, Google Drive, etc. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
requirements at most positions.

However
, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
ability is another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can choose to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of knowledge to choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
topics to delve them
deeply
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better results on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific tasks, which is what they choose to learn. Schoolers can
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses on physical and mental health, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be healthier.

In conclusion
, I believe both sides of the argument have their merits. On balance,
however
, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
focus
Possible spelling mistake found.
onthe
basic for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s career. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and universities
Possible spelling mistake found.
canbring
experience in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
majors.
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IELTS essay Many people feel that the preparation for students' career should be the mainfocus of schools, whereas others think that school’s purpose is improving students' ability. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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