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Telecommuting & its merits & demerits. Which one is better provide your opinion

Telecommuting & its merits & demerits. Which one is better provide your opinion m8JL8
Today we live in an era of technology & communication, and the recent pandemic situation forced us to work from home. It has both a positive as well as negative side. This essay shall delve into this matter and finds out its merits and demerits before come into a conclusion. To begin with, telecommuting makes life easier for many pupils who come from a long distances and have to go back to home after work, and also it is very tired and a daunting task to do as a routine, this type of people really wants atleast two days of telecommuting from home, and it will make them refreshed to work enthusiastically. Secondly, it will be good for the workplace or the employer, because they need not reqire a lot of space for office setting when some people are working from home. Moreover, it is also environment friendly as it is a great concern for nowadays. It will require less people to go out & thus a few number of cars will be there in the street, and which means less fuel consumption and the ultimate result is less pollution, and less traffic as well which results in good communication and less noise. There is also a big advantage that we can not ignore is it makes a employee less stressed and the ultimate product is his productivity will be increased highly. On the other side, it requires a fixed space in the house to work from home, a good internet connection is required as well. It would also lead people a fatigue life, and sometime it wouod be the cause of family problem as others think that he is in the house and just sitting all day but he is not helping others which would make the relations tough. Moreover, sometimes it requires some demonstration from others which would be difficult when working from home, also electricity has a bad impact on it if the electricity is cut for a long period then establishing a stable connection is just like a nightmare. To sum up, working from home make life easier and comfortable, increased productivity and decrease stress level as well, however, it has some disadvantages which we could not neglect. But, the advantages of telecommuting outweigh the disadvantages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an era of technology & communication, and the recent pandemic situation forced us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home. It has both a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side. This essay shall delve into this matter and finds out its merits and demerits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, telecommuting
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makes
life easier for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a long distances and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go back to home after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and
also
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tired and a daunting task to do as a routine, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
really
wants
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
two days of telecommuting from home, and it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them refreshed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
enthusiastically
.
Secondly
, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the workplace or the employer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need not
Possible spelling mistake found.
reqire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
space for office setting when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
are working from home.

Moreover
, it is
also
environment friendly as it is a great concern for nowadays. It will require
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go out &
thus
a
Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: "few numbers".
few number
of cars will be there in the street, and which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
fuel consumption and the ultimate result is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
pollution, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
traffic as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
which results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
noise. There is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
advantage that we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
is it
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makes
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
employee
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less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and the ultimate product is his productivity will
be increased
highly
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, it requires a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
space in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to
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work
from home, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
internet connection
is required
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. It would
also
lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a fatigue life, and sometime it
Possible spelling mistake found.
wouod
be the cause of family problem as others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that he is in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting all day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he is not helping others which would
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make
the relations tough.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demonstration from others which would be difficult when working from home,
also
electricity has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on it if the electricity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
for a long period then establishing a stable connection is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like a nightmare.

To sum up, working from home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
life easier and comfortable, increased productivity and decrease
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
,
however
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages which we could not neglect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the advantages of telecommuting outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Telecommuting & its merits & demerits. Which one is better provide your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
380 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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