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A century ago, when man landed on the moon, many people thought that it was a great contribution to mankind. However, space travel has made little difference to people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A century ago, when man landed on the moon, many people thought that it was a great contribution to mankind. However, space travel has made little difference to people's lives. ApOX3
In this state-of-the-art, technology has become more updated and individuals live a much luminous lifestyle compare to by the gone time. In which space innovation was one of the significant contributions all over the world. It had also asserted that explore space might create such opportunities for living in outer space. I partially agree with the present statement; the reasons as well as examples to support my ideology are articulated in the fourth coming paragraphs. To initiate with there are a plethora of detrimental consequences of exploration Outer space, which are not negligible. Firstly space travel is too much costly if the wealth contribution of space will spend on the basic needs then people satisfy their soul by acquiring such essential goods. Secondly, a poor citizen of the society who does not attain any type of benefits from such exploration, because they are unable to travel: moon, and other outer planets. Thus the ramifications of space travel are not avoidable. However; although space travel plays an essential role in the community because with the aid of particular innovation individuals have acquired a variety in their lifestyle. To embark with, space exploration has valuable to everyone to aware of natural calamities in advance which save numerous life. In addition to that the first steps on the moon by Neel Armstrong - a great scientist - inspire the whole world to be conscious about his innovation. Furthermore, with the assist of such creation mankind can achieve more field opportunities in further life; which curtail unemployment as well as curb illiteracy rate. Eventually, it can be believed that shortly humans gain more awareness with the assist of space investigation. Agglomerating all the points elaborated above it can be concluded that since the authority spend a large amount of money on a space journey, the individuals enhance the level of their lifestyle. Hence it will yet create plenty of sheer outcomes in near future.
In this state-of-the-art, technology has become more updated and individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a much luminous lifestyle compare to by the gone time. In which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
innovation was one of the significant contributions all over the world. It had
also
asserted that explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
might create such opportunities for living in outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the present statement; the reasons
as well
as examples to support my ideology
are articulated
in the fourth coming paragraphs. To initiate with there are a plethora of detrimental consequences of exploration Outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, which are not negligible.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is too much costly if the wealth contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
will spend on the basic needs then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
satisfy their soul by acquiring such essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Secondly
, a poor citizen of the society who does not attain any type of benefits from such exploration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
: moon, and other outer planets.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the ramifications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
are not avoidable.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
; although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
plays an essential role in the community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the aid of particular innovation individuals have acquired a variety in their lifestyle. To embark with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration has valuable to everyone to aware of natural calamities in advance which save numerous life.
In addition
to that the
first
steps on the moon by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neel
Armstrong
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a great scientist
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
inspire the whole world to be conscious about his innovation.
Furthermore
, with the assist of such creation mankind can achieve more field opportunities in
further
life; which curtail unemployment
as well
as curb illiteracy rate.
Eventually
, it can
be believed
that shortly humans gain more awareness with the assist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
investigation. Agglomerating all the points elaborated above it can
be concluded
that since the authority spend a large amount of money on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
journey, the individuals enhance the level of their lifestyle.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it will
yet
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of sheer outcomes in near future.
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IELTS essay A century ago, when man landed on the moon, many people thought that it was a great contribution to mankind. However, space travel has made little difference to people's lives.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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