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9. Some people think that teenagers should be requested an unpaid job in their free time. They believe that these will be helpful for both individual teenagers and local communities. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons to your answer, and require examples.

9. Some people think that teenagers should be requested an unpaid job in their free time. They believe that these will be helpful for both individual teenagers and local communities. Give reasons to your answer, and require examples. DdBm
Youngsters are the building blocks of the nation and they play an important role in serving the society because at this age they are full of energy not only mentally but physically also. Some people think that youth should do some voluntary work for the society in their free time and it would be beneficial for both of them. I agree with the statement. It has numerous benefits which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, they could do a lot of activities and make their spare time fruitful. First of all, they can teach children living in slum areas because they are unable to afford education in schools or colleges. as a result, they will become civilized individuals and do not indulge in antisocial activities. By doing this they could gain a lot of experience and becomes responsible towards the society. It would be beneficial in their future perspective. In addition to this, they learn a sense of cooperation and sharing with other persons of the society. For instance, they could grow plants and trees at public places and this would be helpful not only to make the surrounding clean and green but reduce the pollution also to great extent. Moreover, they could arrange awareness programmes in society and set an example among the natives of the state. This will make the social bonding strong between the individuals and this will also enhance their social skills. In conclusion, they can “kill two birds with one stone” because it has a great advantage both for the society and for the adolescents. Both the parents, as well as teachers, should encourage the teens to take part in the activities of serving the community in their free time.
Youngsters are the building blocks of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nation and
they play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in serving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at this age they are full of energy not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mentally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
physically
also
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that youth should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
voluntary work for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in their free time and it would be beneficial for both of them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. It has numerous benefits which will
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, they could do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their spare time fruitful.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they can teach children living in slum areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are unable to afford education in schools or colleges.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
a result, they will become civilized individuals and do not indulge in antisocial activities. By doing this they could gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience and becomes responsible towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. It would be beneficial in their future perspective.
In addition
to this, they learn a sense of cooperation and sharing with other persons of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For instance
, they could grow plants and trees at public places and this would be helpful not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the surrounding clean and green
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pollution
also
to great extent.
Moreover
, they could arrange awareness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and set an example among the natives of the state. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the social bonding strong between the individuals and this will
also
enhance their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, they can “kill two birds with one stone”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a great advantage both for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and for the adolescents. Both the parents,
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
teachers, should encourage the teens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the activities of serving the community in their free time.
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IELTS essay 9. Some people think that teenagers should be requested an unpaid job in their free time. They believe that these will be helpful for both individual teenagers and local communities. Give reasons to your answer, and require examples.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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