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6. Some people think that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing contribute more towards a child's overall development. The school curriculum should provide more time for these subjects to be taught if the school wants all-round development of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

6. Some people think that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing contribute more towards a child's overall development. The school curriculum should provide more time for these subjects to be taught if the school wants all-round development of children. with this? Oj7G
It is undeniably true that learning and participating in extracurricular activities is one of the most essential part of a child's creative thinking. Certain people argue that studied like art, music, theatre and creative writing provides a lot in a child's overall growth and suggest that the education system needs to a lot of extra time in teaching the said subjects in order to achieve all-round development of children. This essay addresses my agreement with the opinion. To begin, thinking outside the box is crucial for the holistic development of the young people. This is because students can apply their creative and imaginative skills in their academic subjects. For instance, numerous studies were conducted on this subject and have led to the conclusion that almost only 25 per cent of the young adults who participated in extracurricular activities can think outside the box. In addition, nowadays college application requires at least 2 creative subjects apart from the regular curriculum in order to get a better chance in acceptance. Moreover, pupils are stress too much in school cause of the pressure caused by their teacher or parent. Having non-academic subjects in their school curriculum will relieve them of such pressure and may even tend to enjoy their primary subject even more. Furthermore it can reveal one's hidden talent and may become a master in it. If this system is proposed, students not only have limited options to pursue but can choose many streams in their future and can even have a fallback. To conclude, I believe it is imperative for schools to include these kinds of subjects for the overall development of the children both academically and creatively and facilitate their growing minds.
It is
undeniably
true that learning and participating in extracurricular activities is one of the most essential part of a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
thinking. Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that studied like art, music,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
writing provides a lot in a child's
overall
growth and suggest that the education system needs to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
extra time in teaching the said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in order to achieve all-round development of children. This essay addresses my agreement with the opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, thinking outside the box is crucial for the holistic development of the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students can apply their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
and imaginative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
For instance
, numerous studies
were conducted
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and have led to the conclusion that almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
25 per cent of the young adults who participated in extracurricular activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
outside the box.
In addition
, nowadays college application requires at least 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
apart from the regular curriculum in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better chance in acceptance.

Moreover
, pupils are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
too much in school cause of the pressure caused by their teacher or parent. Having non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in their school curriculum will relieve them of such pressure and may even tend to enjoy their primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
even more.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
it can reveal one's hidden talent and may become a master in it. If this system
is proposed
, students not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have limited options to pursue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
streams in their future and can even have a fallback.

To conclude
, I believe it is imperative for schools to include these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for the
overall
development of the children both
academically
and
creatively
and facilitate their growing minds.

IELTS essay 6. Some people think that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing contribute more towards a child's overall development. The school curriculum should provide more time for these subjects to be taught if the school wants all-round development of children. with this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • 6. Some people think that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing contribute more towards a child's overall development. The school curriculum should provide more time for these subjects to be taught if the school wants all-round development of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.