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57. Describe an important place in your life. Tell what the place is like and explain why it is important to you. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

57. Describe an important place in your life. Tell what the place is like and explain why it is important to you. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
There have been rising a lot of problems caused by burning fossil fuels in the world. Therefore, some people think that cars using fossil fuels should be regulated and the electric cars should be encouraged instead. However, I think that cars using fossil fuels can’t be banned because it will take a long time to replace and it is necessary in our lives. On the one hand, it is clear that the electric cars are very environmentally-friendly. This is because they don’t cause the air pollution. However, when we buy the electric cars, they are very expensive. So, many people can’t afford to buy these cars. In this circumstance, it is more or less impossible to spread the utility of these cars in developing countries. Therefore, I have asserted my opinion that it has the lack of reality because many people can’t buy this cars. On the other hand, I think that we need many facilities to use the electric cars. For example, for the electric cars usage, we should build the electric charge stations, parking places and so on. In addition, it will take a long time for convenience to have basic systems and It will cost a lot. Hence, I think that we can’t ban the fossil fuel cars because it is more useful and it is cheap. In conclusion, although people know the benefits of the electric cars, it is difficult for everybody to utilize it because it is expensive and in reality, many people can’t afford to buy it. I think that it is a great idea that all cars are replaced with the electric cars, but it will take a time and we should take into account its utility.
There have been rising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems caused by burning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
in the world.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
should
be regulated
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should
be encouraged
instead
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will take a long time to replace and it is necessary in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
environmentally
-friendly. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t cause the air pollution.
However
, when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. In this circumstance, it is more or less impossible to spread the utility of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
Therefore
, I have asserted my opinion that it has the lack of reality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
Did you mean "these"?
this
cars.

On the other hand
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that we need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
For example
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "cars'" or "car's"?
cars
usage, we should build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
charge stations, parking places and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In addition
, it will take a long time for convenience to have basic systems and It will cost a lot.
Hence
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
ban the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more useful and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know the benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, it is difficult for everybody to utilize it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is expensive and in reality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are replaced
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will take a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
we should take into account its utility.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay 57. Describe an important place in your life. Tell what the place is like and explain why it is important to you. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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