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305 some people think that competition leads to a better performance from sports stars. Others think it just makes players feel insecure. What is your opinion? v.1

305 some people think that competition leads to a better performance from sports stars. Others think it just makes players feel insecure. What is your opinion? v. 1
There are many moments in one’s life, and the wedding day is one of the most special ones. Different cultures have different ways to celebrate weddings, as a traditional Asian girl, I believe spending savings on a memorable wedding is worth the price. People should spend money on things that are important to them. A wedding marks the start of marriage life, and marriage is a lifelong commitment. When a couple or even two families spend a relatively large amount of money on organizing and celebrating a wedding, they are adding value to the wedding and it makes the commitment harder to break. If two people have their wedding at home in a normal setting without any relative at the site to give wishes, it costs less, but then it is just another ordinary day with nothing special to remember. Besides, from a more practical perspective, in many Asian countries, the guests that are invited to a wedding would give a “red envelope” to the marrying couple. An envelope normally has money in it, and the amount of money is associated with how grand the wedding is. That is to say, the more people spend money on the wedding, the more they would get back. That is because guests want to pay for the price of participating in a big wedding. This, in turn, saves money for the couple overall. In conclusion, whether to spend money on a wedding varies from culture to culture. However, from my personal experience, a luxurious wedding not only creates unforgettable memories for both the marrying couple and the guests but also has its economic benefits.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
moments in one’s life, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
day is one of the most special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
cultures have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
, as a traditional Asian girl, I believe spending savings on a memorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
is worth the price.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on things that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
marks the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of marriage life, and marriage is a lifelong commitment. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
or even two families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
relatively
large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on organizing and celebrating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
, they are adding value to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the commitment harder to break. If two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
at home in a normal setting without any relative at the site to give wishes, it costs less,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
another ordinary day with nothing special to remember.

Besides
, from a more practical perspective, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian countries, the guests that
are invited
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
would give a “red envelope” to the marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
. An envelope
normally
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in it, and the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is associated
with how grand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
is.
That is
to say, the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
, the more they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
guests want to pay for the price of participating in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
. This, in turn, saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
overall
.

In conclusion
, whether to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
varies from culture to culture.
However
, from my personal experience, a luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
creates unforgettable memories for both the marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
and the guests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has its economic benefits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 305 some people think that competition leads to a better performance from sports stars. Others think it just makes players feel insecure. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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