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2101 Most people these days prefer getting news online to reading newspapers or watching TV. Do you think it is a positive development?

2101 Most people these days prefer getting news online to reading newspapers or watching TV. Do you think it is a positive development? eorA
It is irrefutable that thanks to technological advancement, the internet has become an integral part of our modern lives. A vast majority of people tends to depend on the internet for news updates and any other entertainments which has both positive and negative impacts. However, I would argue that it is more often than positive development for individuals. On the one hand, it is evident that online plays quintessential role in updating our lives by providing various contents such as e-news, educational information, entertainment related videos and so forth. Therefore, a good number of people from youth to older generations prefers the internet in order to access gathering information easily. However, this trend has led people being isolated with seldom interaction with others. To exemplify this, at present younger children tend to play games online and watch cartoons on TV. Hence, they spend a lion’s portion of time on confining themselves to 4 walls of the room, which leave them unaware of the outer world. As a consequence of this, people will fail to endure interaction skills and become unsocial. On the contrary, while it has negative implication, the internet is nevertheless of paramount importance as it allows provision of all informations and updates more conveniently and more quickly through a myriad of platforms. the most notable example of this is that office going people can get their news from news portals as well social media websites since they are reachable at a fingertip from their handheld devices such phones and tabs. As a result, more and more people click on links to enrich and entertainm themselves rather than casting eyes over cumbersome newspapers. Therefore, the internet is regarded as impetuous and make our modern lives more smoother. In conclusion, although the activities of reading newspapers or watching TV programs are being replaced by the online portals which has some detrimental impacts such as less socialization, this should be compared with the benefits such as instant and easy access to updates and entertainments. I personally believe this dependence on screens for news and entertainments has made our fast paced life more feasible.
It is irrefutable that thanks to technological advancement, the internet has become an integral part of our modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. A vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tends to depend on the internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
updates and any other entertainments which has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
However
, I would argue that it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for individuals.

On the one hand, it is evident that online plays quintessential role in updating our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by providing various contents such as e-news, educational information, entertainment related videos and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
Therefore
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from youth to older generations prefers the internet in order to access gathering information
easily
.
However
, this trend has led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being isolated
with seldom interaction with others. To exemplify this, at present younger children tend to play games online and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cartoons on TV.
Hence
, they spend a lion’s portion of time on confining themselves to 4 walls of the room, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them unaware of the outer world. As a consequence of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will fail to endure interaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and become unsocial.

On the contrary
, while it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implication, the internet is
nevertheless
of paramount importance as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
provision of all
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
and updates more
conveniently
and more
quickly
through a myriad of platforms.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
most notable example of this is that office going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
portals
as well
social media websites since they are reachable at a fingertip from their handheld devices such phones and tabs.
As a result
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
click on links to enrich and
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertainm
themselves
rather
than casting eyes over cumbersome newspapers.
Therefore
, the internet
is regarded
as impetuous and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Use only "smoother" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more smoother
.

In conclusion
, although the activities of reading newspapers or watching TV programs are
being replaced
by the online portals which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental impacts such as less socialization, this should
be compared
with the benefits such as instant and easy access to updates and entertainments. I
personally
believe this dependence on screens for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and entertainments has made our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced life more feasible.
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IELTS essay 2101 Most people these days prefer getting news online to reading newspapers or watching TV. Do you think it is a positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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