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21. Some people say that the current level of air travel is acceptable where as other people believe air travel should be reduced and the government should play a role in this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

21. Some people say that the current level of air travel is acceptable where as other people believe air travel should be reduced and the government should play a role in this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion Og6eG
People have differing views about the rate of air travel in the country. While some believe that this rate is high and the government must be restricted about this trend. Others believe that the level of air travel is acceptable. In my opinion, transport by airplane is essential for human. On the one hand, there are several reasons behind this idea why travel by airplane must be reduced. Firstly, With increasing demands for use of air transport services the ticket price is increased significantly. For example, ticket prices on holidays and special events such as new year's eve or Christmas reached the peak of the price. Secondly, plenty of counties use old-fashioned airplanes. Hence, for each flight that takes more and more dioxide carbon into the atmosphere. Thus, it leads to many negative consequences such as air pollution. On the other hand, there are numerous reasons why the rate of air transport must not be reduced. Mainly, transportation by airplane is comfortable and safe. However, tickets more expensive than other transportation facilities, but, travel by airplane is faster than other services. Moreover, airlines are one of the important gates for the tourism industry and must be protected because having financial benefits for the country. In conclusion, while some believe that the number of flights should be significantly reduced. I fully believe that air travel has a lot of positive impact on individuals and society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have differing views about the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in the country. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this rate is high and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be restricted
about this trend. Others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is acceptable. In my opinion, transport by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplane
is essential for human.

On the one hand, there are several reasons behind this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
why
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travel
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplane
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Firstly
, With increasing demands for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
transport services the ticket price
is increased
significantly
.
For example
, ticket prices on holidays and special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as
Capitalize holidays.
new year's eve
or Christmas reached the peak of the price.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of counties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
.
Hence
, for each flight that takes more and more dioxide carbon into the atmosphere.
Thus
, it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are numerous reasons why the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Mainly
, transportation by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplane
is comfortable and safe.
However
, tickets more expensive than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
transportation facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplane
is faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
services.
Moreover
, airlines are one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
gates for the tourism industry and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be protected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having financial benefits for the country.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the number of flights should be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. I
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on individuals and society.
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IELTS essay 21. Some people say that the current level of air travel is acceptable where as other people believe air travel should be reduced and the government should play a role in this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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